I lost it with my 3rd graders

[DMZ]

The title says it all. My co teacher wasn't in class and my 3rd graders would not shut up so I lost it with them, in a way they understood very well. Apparently I'm super scary when I lose my temper which made them shut up, which is good, but now they're too scared to talk to me when we do activities in class. While they deserved my wrath, how can I win back their conversation without backing down and losing my authority?

[DMZ]

I mean 3rd grade middle school of course.

[Janitor]

With my horrible 3rd graders, I usually am super friendly or talkative after. Smile a lot so they know that you are not still angry with them. That usually helps for me. My students know the line and after feeling the wrath don't cross it. They know that I am kind and friendly but they also now know what line not to cross

[cath-mandu]

Honestly, it happens-- and if they understand that they were out of hand, then at least you made your point.

Last poster is right-- I did something similar with 2nd grade middle schoolers last year when they were absolutely disrespectful, and after a lecture, I made them sit in the classroom silently through part of their break. While I didn't yell at them, I did kind of go overboard. They resented that longer than I expected, but eventually they got over it.

For the most part, being absolutely silent worked for my students, or telling them at the beginning of class that I'll make them stay in the class during their break for 1-minute EACH time they get out of hand. That often worked for me... along with showing interest in their general lives.

Again, I'm sure if it's a one time thing, they'll eventually get over it and the more they get back to knowing you as a teacher and person, the less they are likely to be rude and put you over the edge.

[mojussa]

The usual candy, stickers, pat on the back, high fives, and be a clown.

[janinep9]

Let's face it, it happens, we are all human, and sometimes these kids try to walk all over us because we don't speak or understand the language. So don't feel bad for loosing your temper!

I aggre, your kids will get over it soon enough.
Also try a new rewards system with them using free time or games to be done in English, if it's something that their actually allowed to have fun and no pressure and are allowed to make mistakes then maybe that will encourage them to speak more in your class, and they will see that your trying to have fun with them...

[Yu_Bumsuk]

Don't worry about it. Just remember that the law of diminishing returns sets in very quickly with yelling. Next week walk in very cheerfully and things should be fine.

[Kaypea]

I've been really angry with them.  I'm actually feeling awkward with this one girl, who I normally like, but who I spazzed at because she was playing with a cootie catcher and wouldn't give it to me.  I know this makes me sound like a really strict person, but this was one of those days... where we were standing and waiting for the kids to be quiet, for like 5 minutes... then they pull out cell phones, mp3's and... a cootie catcher.  Grr... I got unreasonably angry at the stupid cootie catcher.  Given that there was so much to be mad about, why focus on that?  Anyway, I feel like a middle school girl who's been in a fight.  If I see her on the subway, I feel really ashamed.  Why aren't we above these things?  How can I make it up to them?

[Yu_Bumsuk]

Don't worry about it. Just remember that the law of diminishing returns sets in very quickly with yelling. Next week walk in very cheerfully and things should be fine.

I banged the roll book on the desk (get it right, it sounds like a gun) for the first time yesterday. Last year it was completely ineffective by this point because I used it too much.

Been there, done that. Just be really careful if there's a glass plate covering the computer monitor.

I always crack up at the KTs who keep banging sticks on the desk, like 200 times in one lesson, thinking to myself, do they really think that the next time it's going to have any effect whatsoever.

[Yu_Bumsuk]

I've been really angry with them.  I'm actually feeling awkward with this one girl, who I normally like, but who I spazzed at because she was playing with a cootie catcher and wouldn't give it to me.  I know this makes me sound like a really strict person, but this was one of those days... where we were standing and waiting for the kids to be quiet, for like 5 minutes... then they pull out cell phones, mp3's and... a cootie catcher.  Grr... I got unreasonably angry at the stupid cootie catcher.  Given that there was so much to be mad about, why focus on that?  Anyway, I feel like a middle school girl who's been in a fight.  If I see her on the subway, I feel really ashamed.  Why aren't we above these things?  How can I make it up to them?

Ah, that's where it's nice to be bigger then them. If you couldn't forcibly take it away at least make sure it gets well crumpled up.

[korr]

What everyone else said. Come in happy the next class. Unless the class is really terrible every time, don't carry punishments or anything over into the next week and always make it clear you're punishing the behavior, not the students themselves. For me, just standing in front of the class, folding my arms, and staring at the kids making noise is way more effective than yelling, and it gives me a cooldown period before I start talking to the students.

The best thing you can do with them is just act normal. Be friendly, chat with them outside of class if that's what you usually do. They'll open up again.

[tealeeds]

What's a cootie catcher?

it's an advanced technological device for predicting the future.

no joke.

[Yu_Bumsuk]

What's a cootie catcher?

it's an advanced technological device for predicting the future.

no joke.

They're what we called Fortune-Tellers in Canada.

[dmhr25]

It might be useful (and funny) to show a video clip of the hulk - specifically when people mess with him and he changes from cool dude to big green monster.  Talk about how when people are bad around him, they have to incur his wrath.  Explain that when all is well, you're Mr. Nice Guy.  If they give you problems - they'll see the English teacher version of the hulk again.

Just a thought...

[gilbert.a.h]

When you blow up, which is totally normal, make sure that you keep talking. When they are quiet... keep talking. Start off stern and upset. Ask a lot of rhetorical questions. Don't let them answer. Then back off on the stern voice and gradually move to a softer, quieter voice. At that point, you should ask them if they understand why you are upset and some should begin to answer. Then have a couple minutes of quiet time and then slowly get back into the lesson once the majority of the students understand what goes on.

Never stop talking for a long time. That is a bad thing to do here towards children. They might start crying, any age. When you are upset and blow up, try what I suggested, if you can gather yourself enough. 

[tmerrill]

Take it slow, and keep your cool.
Don't give them the satisfaction of altering your emotion.

[Incredagogue]

I was always taught to avoid using any emotion when disciplining students. Simply being cold and emotionless while dealing out known consequences is the best approach in my opinion. To me, it is important to separate the teacher from the punishment, otherwise they will just resent you. Instead, deal with the punishment as quickly and without any drama (no shouting, no red-faced tirades) - that way the students connect their mis-behavior to the consequence, not the teacher. My best classes have been when I can create an environment that isn't me vs them, but them vs their own self-control.

[pania762011]

At our GEPIK training an Australian guy came in and said he uses a bell and everytime someone talks the bell ringer keeps ringing the bell and points to the talker then the talker bows to the class. While this is going on you just keep on teaching. Eventually the ringing becomes too much for students and the chatter stops. Or you could try a whistle in class for students attention. Also it's pretty hard to get them to be completely quiet because most times their loud at home competing for attention according to my co teacher. Don't feel bad about losing it for a minute. Just carry on as usual. We're not there to be their friends we're there to teach.

[GLondonful]

When I first started teaching in Korea, I thought that the way to be a good teacher was to always be friendly and understanding with the children.  Be endlessly patient, never yell, never show anger.

I've since learned that if you never show any negative emotion to the students, even when they deserve to see it, they actually take it as a sign that you are not a "real teacher," that you don't really care about the class.  Most Korean teachers yell and rage at students pretty regularly - the kids expect that kind of behavior from a "real teacher."  I'm not saying you should yell at kids for every little offense, but a little real anger when they deserve to see it goes a long way.

I feel like some of my kids didn't start to take me seriously until the week after I gave them a scathing lecture.  After that they were like, "Dang, she means business.  She will crack down on us if we're bad."  Our rapport improved after that.

If you're worried about students being scared of you afterwards, don't be.  Kids, like most people, have pretty short memories.  At least, my middle schoolers do.  Just come in the next class and act like your normal self, as other posters have said, and everything will be fine.

P.S. All of this pertains to middle school students.  I'm not sure about grade school - you might want to be gentler with them, as they are younger and get frightened more easily.

[mmaurer2004]

OP- Did it happen today?  There is a good chance it will all just blow over by tomorrow. 

Like the above poster said: 
If you're worried about students being scared of you afterwards, don't be.  Kids, like most people, have pretty short memories.  At least, my middle schoolers do.  Just come in the next class and act like your normal self, as other posters have said, and everything will be fine.

Remember, you're their teacher, not their friend.