something weird just happened and I don't know if I should be concerned...

[melissah]

There's something slightly and unfortunately comforting in knowing other people's creepy stories from here in Korea.

Just Friday night, not even a day after my husband returned home for a family 'emergency' of sorts - a man followed me into my building (which isn't that strange b/c others live in the building) I kept an eye over my shoulder just so he wouldn't see our key code, nothing strange, he had stopped at the bottom of the stairs. I opened the door, dog came out to greet me, I had a large bag of groceries in hand and was ushering the dog inside, turned to close the door and the same man was standing a foot away with his pants unzipped, dick in hand, bouncing it up and down, waving at me with a huge idiotic smile. I was PISSED! I wanted my dog to bark but I think her and I were so shocked at what was happening that I just flipped him off and slammed the door.

A man once told me that "Korea was 'hard' on people" - I didn't believe him, but occassionally, I wonder.

Glad your co-teacher can do something for you. Pretty sure the dude is long gone...fingers crossed any way. My co-teacher kind of giggled then told me to call the police who probably won't speak English...

[gini1825]

you should report the police !! that guy will try something again obviously.. ask your co-teacher to tell the police officer~ I hope that you will be fine

[woman-king]

There's something slightly and unfortunately comforting in knowing other people's creepy stories from here in Korea.

Just Friday night, not even a day after my husband returned home for a family 'emergency' of sorts - a man followed me into my building (which isn't that strange b/c others live in the building) I kept an eye over my shoulder just so he wouldn't see our key code, nothing strange, he had stopped at the bottom of the stairs. I opened the door, dog came out to greet me, I had a large bag of groceries in hand and was ushering the dog inside, turned to close the door and the same man was standing a foot away with his pants unzipped, dick in hand, bouncing it up and down, waving at me with a huge idiotic smile. I was PISSED! I wanted my dog to bark but I think her and I were so shocked at what was happening that I just flipped him off and slammed the door.

A man once told me that "Korea was 'hard' on people" - I didn't believe him, but occassionally, I wonder.

Glad your co-teacher can do something for you. Pretty sure the dude is long gone...fingers crossed any way. My co-teacher kind of giggled then told me to call the police who probably won't speak English...

She giggled?  ::)

I would be alert going into your building to make sure you're not being followed.  He knows where you live now.

Basically, yeah--like another poster said, sexual crimes against women in Korea (for Korean and foreigner women) are rising.  I hear more and more stories about sh*t like this going on from other female NETs, and honestly it may be a motivating factor in me leaving the country earlier than I'd like to.

Telling the co-teacher is always the right step unless your co-teacher is a total idiot, because you need someone who can adequately explain the issue to the Korean police and also gives you a lot more clout if you have a Korean taking your side and backing you up.

I've been followed by drunken ajosshis in broad daylight in my small town and harassed during dinner, on a weeknight, by drunken work-parties of younger Korean guys as well.  Not to mention the daily leers, and totally inappropriate attention from VPs at school whenever they're drunk (which is basically every teacher function).  I get it's a different culture and we stand out, but I feel like I was totally unprepared for this, which is ultimately my fault but also seems totally irresponsible on the part of our recruiters and the EPIK/GEPIK programs.  The safety of Korea is described in misleading ways.  Sure, you're safer from gun violence, but one doesn't need a gun to sexually assault or harass or kill someone.  Unfortunately, I think as Western-looking women (basically, any female who doesn't look East Asian) we need to be MORE alert and take less chances with things like being out alone at night, riding in taxis alone, living on the first floor, etc.  Between assumptions that Western women will f*ck anyone who wants them and/or are Russian prostitutes, the way drunkenness is tolerated/used as an excuse for everything here, AND the way that we simply stand out in a crowd--we need to be careful.

[mr sam teacher]

She giggled?  ::)

Flashers are quite common here, and are generally taken rather lightly. There is even a word for them in Korean: 버버리맨 ("Burberry Man," since they used to wear burberry raincoats). They hang around outside of girls' elementary and middle schools. It's something of a rite of passage for girls to be flashed. Many people seem to believe that it's really harmless, as long as the creeps don't try anything else. The co-teacher's giggles are the standard response to flashers.

[moananm]

So I have only been here for a month and a bit and am so surprised to read all these posts :( And a little bit saddened since I thought Korea was rather safe, I guess it is in terms of violence. But obviously not in regards sexual harassment. I live in a very small town, and am lucky enough to say that I have not experienced anything like that, well not yet anyway. I hope I never do.
To all the women who have, I suggest letting your co-teacher know, or even the police. Or even telling them where to shove it, if you get the sense someone is following you.

[woman-king]

She giggled?  ::)

Flashers are quite common here, and are generally taken rather lightly. There is even a word for them in Korean: 버버리맨 ("Burberry Man," since they used to wear burberry raincoats). They hang around outside of girls' elementary and middle schools. It's something of a rite of passage for girls to be flashed. Many people seem to believe that it's really harmless, as long as the creeps don't try anything else. The co-teacher's giggles are the standard response to flashers.

Hmm.  At my school, after a local man flashed some of the students, the school got a crew of volunteer parents together to patrol the different routes kids take to get home.  I realize being flashed isn't the end of the world, but it is definitely one of the signs of someone who might try more serious acts of sexual violence. 

[natale_laplante]

Wow...This thread has certainly made me more aware of this issue, which honestly is creeping me out a bit.
OP--I'm sorry you have to go through this. What that man did was incredibly violating, no doubt. But yes, I support the advice of earlier posters and suggest you take the appropriate actions to prevent things from getting any more serious. I don't know you personally, but I do want to see you safe. No one should feel afraid to go into their own home. Best of luck.

And I do believe that gender inequality is certainly a factor in a lot of this behavior. My third year middle schoolers tend to eye me in ways I don't care for. And this is the next generation of young men.

[DMZ]

I've also noticed that men around here can be VERY inappropriate and way over step their boundaries. And never mind old Korean men. I'm having a lot of problems with migrant construction workers from the Philippines and Sri Lanka that speak English and think it's OK to hit on me and harass me in the streets. It's come to the point where I wish I really was Russian so that I couldn't understand their vulgar speech!

[woman-king]

I've also noticed that men around here can be VERY inappropriate and way over step their boundaries. And never mind old Korean men. I'm having a lot of problems with migrant construction workers from the Philippines and Sri Lanka that speak English and think it's OK to hit on me and harass me in the streets. It's come to the point where I wish I really was Russian so that I couldn't understand their vulgar speech!

One of my scary incidences involved being followed around town and creepily hit on by someone who I believe was a Sri Lankan migrant worker.  From what I understand from women who travel in South Asia that the "Western women = pornstar" connotation is possibly even stronger than in East Asia.  The fact many people in these countries speak English probably makes them bolder as well, whereas it seems to take alcohol to fuel a similar advance from someone who doesn't speak English (in my experience).  It really makes me distrust any man who doesn't look like another NET, which I hate because I would never have racially profiled people back in the States like that, and believe it's wrong on principle--but when the vast majority of men from a specific culture profile YOU based on your race, well, there seems no way out of it.

Thing is...women who go to live/work in Sri Lanka or India or the Philippines are properly trained by their organizations/companies about this perception and ways to deal with it or at least mentally prepare.  All we get told is "KoreaIsSoSafeDon'tWorry."  Not exactly accurate.

[Harlequin]

I was harassed and followed by an Asian guy. I couldn't tell where he was from but he wasn't Korean. At first, he was polite he greeted me in broken English and held the door for me as I entered the local McDonald's.  He then followed me to the counter shouting compliments.  At this point, I was really embarrassed but I didn't want to lose my composure, I thanked him and made it obvious that I was ignoring him. When I began to place my order he began to try and ask me questions, the cashier and I exchanged looks and I put some space between myself and the man. He took that as his cue to come even closer and ask even louder, then he began singing about how much he loved me and the things he wanted to do with me. I was borderline scared and angry and ready to lose it when the manager came to the rescue. She told him to "back off" in English and he then walked away and took a seat. He sang to me from his seat and when I was leaving he tried to follow me out but the manager who was watching yelled "STOP."  I ran to the taxi stand--I wasn't about to check if he decided to wait or not.

[bella4041]

Reading this thread definitely makes me uneasy, but it's a realistic concern that we must face here. Within my first month, there was a man who came into my building and spoke to me in Korean, but I couldn't understand what he was asking. I felt uneasy though, and asked another NET living in my building to come over. Sure enough, 30 minutes later, he returned claiming to be the "TV man." He even pushed the other NET (a man) to poke his head into the apt.
There was also a man wearing no pants who followed my friend into her building, and when she told the co-teeachers at our school, they laughed.
Although I feel safe here for the most part, I do carry mace with me, as it makes me feel a little safer and I don't have to compromise as much of my independence. To the OP and every other woman living here, I would recommend carrying mace or pepper spray, especially at night time.

[sweet_potato]

Reading all these stories certainly makes me uneasy. I've been relatively lucky because in my almost 2 years here, I've only had one weirdo try aggressively befriend me. If there is anything weird happening to you, just be RUDE! If you're being all nice and whatever, it's interpreted as consent for inappropriate behaviour. These creeps KNOW it's not right to follow a woman into a building or whatever. So stop and say NO! EFF OFF! GO AWAY! Hold out your phone and say 119!

[alijw]

Reading all these stories certainly makes me uneasy. I've been relatively lucky because in my almost 2 years here, I've only had one weirdo try aggressively befriend me. If there is anything weird happening to you, just be RUDE! If you're being all nice and whatever, it's interpreted as consent for inappropriate behaviour. These creeps KNOW it's not right to follow a woman into a building or whatever. So stop and say NO! EFF OFF! GO AWAY! Hold out your phone and say 119!

Yeah I agree completely.

The shame culture is strong here. Scream at them and they will not be encouraged. A few choice words in their language are easy to learn too and can really make a difference - and catch the attention of other people around you.

I've had a couple of sexually aggressive encounters in 2 year but one with a couple of American soldiers and one a dude from Sri Lanka. I did have a Korean man flash me though. Me and my friend shouted the Korean for penis and small and laughed and pointed. Other people turned around and pointed also - he looked gratifyingly uncomfortable. But I imagine on your own it's a bit harder to brush it off.

Here's some good Korean to learn!!

하지마! (Ha ji ma) = stop that
자지 (ja ji) = penis
닥쳐 (dak chyae) = shut the f**k up
뭐 해 (mwo hay) = what are you doing
저리가 (ju ree ga) = go away

[hkg123]

I was under the impression that pepper spray and mace were illegal here so I left mine at home.  Anyone know if that's true?  If not, and it is legal to carry the stuff, anyone know where I can buy some?

[Hoosier_Jedi]

I've know women who've had similer problems and it really is best to deal with the situation aggressivly to make sure the person giving you trouble gets the message.

[FMNY]

It seems like wherever I go there is no shortage of creepy disgusting men.
In the U.S the married neighbor guy used to sit in his bathroom and pleasure himself while Staring at our house. When we noticed he was doing this we started to close all our blinds one time he even waved. Finally we had someone go over there and talk to him and he stopped (or at lest we think he did. probably just became more sneaky about it).
My creepy Korea  encounter went like this. I was in downtown late one evening walking to get in cab. There was a group of us and everyone was gettin into separate cabs along the way an older obviously drunk Korean man was around us he was being drunkenly "helpful" and opening cab doors for us. Well he got in my cab I was like wtf. I kept on shaking my head and crossing my arms to be like we are not going in the same place. But he slammed the door and told the taxi driver to go. I was completely freaking out at this point and all the way in my corner of the cab. Thank God for the taxi driver in his broken English he asked me if this was my friend. I said no way I don't know him. Then he says something to the drunk man and they start to yell at each other. We came to an area that for some reason had a lot of police around the cab driver pulled over and honked for the police to come over. There were some very loud exchanges in Korean and police officers looking into the cab. The drunk man then opened his door and I kid you not motioned for me to get out of the cab with him! I just kept on looking at the police office like this man is crazy. He then slammed the door and yelled some more things to the cab driver. The cab drove away and the cab driver said to to me thats a very bad man.

Yeah Korea is nice and for the most part I do feel safe. But we as women should never ever let our guards down.

[Lee_Lee]

My one creepy incident happened last week. I was walking home from the subway just after it closed and there was a young Korean guy in a suit walking behind me. He get saying "Excuse me" in Korean and I ignored him till I got to my street when he came up right behind me. He asked where I lived and I pointed in the general direction of the street (it's a long street and I live off of it). He asked for my number and I said, "Boyfriend." He took the hint and walked away.

Not nearly as creepy as some of the things mentioned in this thread but enough to make me question walking home at night from the subway, even though it's only a 5 minute walk.

[hjh]

I just want to say that I'm sorry to the OP about this, and I'm so relieved to hear your co-teacher took the matter seriously, and is addressing it.

I think the comments to simply 'close the window' or 'get curtains' were incredibly insensitive. That's like turning up your radio when your engine starts making noises- it doesn't fix the problem. Women have a completely different experience here, and I don't think it's taken seriously, as evidenced by melissah's experience. I've talked to my co-teachers about 'Burberry men' and have heard of co-teacher's laughing when their students talk about being flashed. I don't care who accepts it or considers it a really creepy 'rite of passage'-- it's perverted. 

When a woman flashes a man, he's usually stoked, at the least just amused by the situation. But when a man flashes a woman, she feels violated, disgusted, and scared. There's a powerlessness, and especially when a man knows where the woman lives. I've read multiple stories of women being raped here. Maybe it's like a lot of you said, we put our guard all the way down because we hear of the safety and experience it, for the most part. But that doesn't mean the country's completely absent of weirdos. Be careful!

[rachel23]

I think it is good to use this space to share stories because even though they are so similar by reading these stories your intuition and red flags may go off faster if you find yourself in a similar situation. Back in September I was walking to school, it is about a two minute walk from my apartment. I heard a man say. "teacher teacher!" I figured this was the father of one of my students so I turned around to say hello. He put his hand out to shake mine and I looked at him and my stomach flipped. His hands were shaking, he was sweating and not acting normal. I took my hand back before shaking his and he said "teacher you are so attractive. Let me touch you. I am going to touch you." I screamed NO! and turned around to keep walking. He said "teacher" again. Now this is where some of us have been taught to be kind above all things or try to see the best in people, I honestly thought if I turned around he would apologize. He said again, "I am going to touch you" and began trying to grab at my chest and butt and backing me into an alley against a wall. I was able to escape but I really feel if I hadn't he would have sexually assaulted or raped me. This was all yards from my school bright and early in the morning on path most of my students walk on. When i got to school crying and gasping everyone thought i was sick. No one who spoke English had gotten to work yet. My VP who is very sweet but also dances the line of creepiness quite often got down next to me and listened to my whole story nodding as I told him. He then stands up rubs his finger over his chest and says "nipple?" This is the last word you want to hear out of an old man's mouth after someone tried to attack you. I actually find it funny now because he was really trying to help but at the time it was awful. They thought a drunk man scared me and it was no big deal but when they realized what really happened they called the police. They never caught him though.

This violence is a problem everywhere and it is easy to give people suggestions to protect themselves  (go out in twos, don't drink to much blah blah) but that does not address the cause of the problem ... the root of this violence is a lot bigger and scarier than many cultures know how to  deal with which is why it is easy to blame the victims. I hope we can all take steps to bring information and education about sexual violence out in the open.

[Abryce]

I think it might be pertinent to the converstation to mention that in Korea rape is not an offence that ends with the offender in jail. It is an offence where the offender is required to pay the victim "blood money", this has the tendancy to be around 8-10 thousand dollars. Sad to say that most judges are older men and therefore frequently will find that the woman should have known better, or dressed better, or should not have been drinking, or should have known not to be in that part of town at that time, or that the man was drunk and therefore could not make moral decisions, etc. etc.

You absolutely want your co-teacher involved, you absolutely want to notify EPIK, or the SMOE, or GEPIK. The police unfortunately will most likely NOT pursue the offender. That is not the justice system here.

Please take the issue very seriously and please be very careful.