tips for "fitting in"

[kiekie87]

Anyone feel like an "alien" in your school? I've been teaching at a middle school for 3 months and the feeling has not slipped away. I have tried to talk to my coworkers but some just ignore me, which is a little disheartening. My coteachers seem to only want to speak to and from class.  Anyone have any tips for "fitting in" at your public school?

[daveb]

Once a week bring in some communial fruit/rice cakes for all the teachers. That always goes down well. Or some portionable snack that you can go around and give to each teacher individually or leave on their desk...

[Ramsberry]

Anyone feel like an "alien" in your school? I've been teaching at a middle school for 3 months and the feeling has not slipped away. I have tried to talk to my coworkers but some just ignore me, which is a little disheartening. My coteachers seem to only want to speak to and from class.  Anyone have any tips for "fitting in" at your public school?

I am experiencing the exact same thing.... I feel your pain!

[shaunabrowne87]

Ok so I am totally for the bring in something like bread or fruit every week.  Also try to learn Korean even if it's just the basic alphabet and I found that when I started learning it that the co teachers became more interested.  Good Luck!

[madininasmile]

have you gone out to dinner and had a few soju's yet? a decent night out seems to be one of the ways to bond / fit in.

[DWAEDGIMORIGUKBAP]

Learn Korean quick and try your best to at least say a few sentences of it to your co-workers when you get the chance.

Also try to get invited out or invite them out for samguipsal and soju.

If the evening ends up in the norraebang, then you're as in as a waeygook can be.

[Mlatte]

I would agree with Daveb and say bring in fruit or some other snacks.  Did you bring any little things from home or can you have someone send something to you from home?  I found that when I brought gifts from my home country that the teachers seemed to warm up to me.  Even one teacher (who had not spoken to me before), reciprocated and brought me a gift a few days later.  Now, he goes out of his way to say hello.  Do any of your co-teacher(s) speak English well?  Perhaps, invite them to coffee..  I have been at my school for five months and I still feel at times like an "alien".  Remember that it always takes more time in any country to connect with people (I have lived in three).  I do not personally know you, but I can tell you that it will get better.     

[flippinmusician7]

Hey KieKie87,

I've been there. It's rough being the "foreigner", especially when you're in a rural area. I had that feeling all last semester. My co-teacher at the middle school rarely talked to me, and the other teachers pretty much left me alone.

Even if some of your fellow teachers know English, they probably won't talk to you without your co-teacher around. I'm sure you've heard this, but Koreans are extremely shy. For the most point, they don't want to risk showcasing their "bad English" to the rest of the world.Your co-teachers might also be nervous about talking to you. You could write them a letter explaining your concern, which is better than a direct confrontation. Also remember that teachers here are REALLY busy. If your co-teachers are female or low on the "seniority totem pole" at work, they will have much more on their plate than planning lessons.

Bringing a snack to share with the teachers might help, but only insofar as they will smile at you more often. Like I said, I know it's rough now, but it might get better next semester. If not, take the time that you have by yourself at school and use it to improve. You could set up a reading goal, or spend time learning Korean. You could even daydream about your summer vacation (ask any veteran! They do it all the time! :))

I hope this helps!

Peace,
--Flip

[rjhisle1973]

I've been a public school teacher for over three years in the rural countryside and some things I found that help us fit in are:

1. Show a genuine intrest in Korean culture/language. You don't have to be good at it, just try to learn it, it really helps.

2. Have an honest desire to be a good teacher. Show that you take your job seriously.

3. Sometimes bring snacks to school. They like a "team player."

4. Get involved with the local community, join a Tae Kwon Do dojang, go to church etc. It will help the Korean people to get to know you better, and it will help with your enjoyment of Korea too.

5. Be willing to do a little extra work, like teach an extra English class because your co-teacher is sick. They will appreciate that you are helping out and not being a "spoiled" foreign teacher.

I hope this helps.

[#basedcowboyshirt]

Your Korean coworkers, by and large, are simple folk. I don't mean that in a pejorative sense, I just mean that it's not hard to make them happy. Just show up, do work, smile a lot, and learn a few token phrases in Korean. Don't turn your nose up at food or beverage when it's offered, and don't be uppity.

Odds are, you'll still feel like an outsider, but you'll be an endearing, well-liked one.

[teachermc]

Your Korean coworkers, by and large, are simple folk. I don't mean that in a pejorative sense, I just mean that it's not hard to make them happy. Just show up, do work, smile a lot, and learn a few token phrases in Korean. Don't turn your nose up at food or beverage when it's offered, and don't be uppity.

Odds are, you'll still feel like an outsider, but you'll be an endearing, well-liked one.

Unfortunately, I have to say this is pretty well put.  Most days I would not feel comfortable settling on this assessment, but today I am feeling honest.

The last point is the most important, IMO.  The OP's premise is a little difficult because if there is little hope for building multicultural communities in our home countries, I do not know why we would expect it here.  The best to be is 'different' in a good, non-threatening way (that is, if you want to continue to try to 'fit in').

[zina mae]

I've found that smiling, bowing, and trying to speak korean as often as possible works. Also, I've been eating/drinking whatever i get offered goes a long way. I've made a few mistakes so far, but I think showing that you're willing to learn from them, especially the principal, will encourage them to interact with you to show you how things are done here. I've been saying 'yes' to alot of things I normally wouldn't. And stick to the dress code at your school...

[tb75700]

Yes, I do feel like a bit of an alien, not just at my school but on the metro, walking, ect.  I have found that NOT focusing on it makes a little difference,  just trying to keep a good mindset about it.  The hard thing for teachers in public schools is that we are the only foreign teacher in the entire school, therefore, there is usually just one person who you can talk to- your co-teacher.  Yet, my co-teacher's English is not that good, and most of the time its a guessing game of what words she says...  At lunch I sit with the other teachers but rarely get spoken to, which makes it a little lonely.  I will take everyone's advice and bring in some type of snack for everyone to share in the future- good idea!

[Jozigirl]

At lunch I sit with the other teachers but rarely get spoken to, which makes it a little lonely. 

I almost never get spoken to at lunch and neither do most of my friends - it's pretty common in a lot of schools.  Yes, it can be lonely but it depends on your approach to your school as well.  There are three NETs at my school and it's still pretty lonely.  In total, there are 9 foreign teachers (Chinese, Japanese, Spanish and English) at my school so we don't stick out as much around school. 

A lot of my teachers can speak pretty decent English but most of them are reluctant/shy/anxious about using it because the English of the Korean English teachers is really high.  A handful of them really try to include me at times but even my co-teachers ignore me at lunch - it's not a big deal. 

Although a lot of teachers at my school know that I've been studying Korean for several months, it didn't really make much difference.  What DID make a difference was when I started studying Korean with one of the teachers from my school.  We recently got an American exchange student - who speaks more Korean than I do - and she has 2 lessons a week after school with one of the Korean teachers here.  I asked if I could join the lessons.  The teacher only speaks in Korean so the lessons are really draining and although I understand what she's asking me, I often just don't have the vocab to respond.  Last week, I was just really tired and the struggle to communicate really got to me - I started crying in the lesson.  By the end of the lesson, every single teacher in my school had heard what had happened (good news travels fast).  The best part was that I had to go straight from that lesson to a school dinner so I had a lot of teachers commenting on my getting upset in the lesson.  Since then, however, it's as though the teachers in my school have finally realised that I'm trying my best to learn Korean but it's very difficult for me.  They've also learned that if they speak really slowly and simply, I can figure out a lot of what is being said so they're a lot more willing to try and include me.  It's taken a year to get to that point though. 

Just try to be as friendly and approachable as possible.  You don't need to behave like a golden retriever puppy all the time but it definitely helps to show an interest in Korean, Korea, the culture, the students, be enthusiastic about your job, smile a lot, greet all the teachers everytime (even the stuck up ones) and join them for lunch. 

[jillianc]

A lot of these suggestions are awesome! Another one to go along with the bringing in fruit, could be to bring in iced coffees. In my school usually a couple times a week a Korean teacher will bring in iced coffees for everyone, it is nice if the foreign teacher brings some in too. You can just grab the 1,000 won ones from GS25 that come in a big and then you get a cup with ice. Super cheap but goes a long way with the teachers.

[natale_laplante]

I agree! These are all great tips. :D

[kiekie87]

Just an update.

Definitely feeling more accepted this semester. I think its mainly do to summer classes, eating with small groups of teachers. I made some 'western"  sandwhiches and brought them in to share. I also went to china and brought back some snacks from vacation. All the teacher's appreciated it :)

All the teacher's are friendly towards me now, and when i converse in korean they appreacite it!

This semester i'm going to make pumpkin seeds for halloween (if i can find a pumpkin) and apple sauce.

For those that just arrived, it will get better...just have to make a bit of an effort.

Yea for new beginnings :)

[rwbuie]

as always, don't be "that guy"

[#basedcowboyshirt]

Also, as for nobody talking to people at lunch, I'm curious.

Does anyone actually want to talk to people while eating?

Unless I'm on a date, I'd rather not have five minute intervals between mouthfuls due to tedious smalltalk.

[teachermc]

Also, as for nobody talking to people at lunch, I'm curious.

Does anyone actually want to talk to people while eating?

Unless I'm on a date, I'd rather not have five minute intervals between mouthfuls due to tedious smalltalk.

That is a great point.  Dining mannerisms are very different here.  That being said, my recruiter gave me some books about Korea (published in Korea) when I changed schools this year.  One of the books was about Korean Cuisine.  They used a portion of the book to list elements of a "Korean Meal Etiquette."  Supposedly, it is not polite here to slurp?  Also, you should not eat while chewing?  Hmm...

Perhaps being schooled on remnants of 'Southern Hospitality' as a child left me a little too self-conscious when I eat to properly socialize here during a meal.