"Time to get married"

[bapagi]

Some students asked me, "how old are you?" today (I'm 27, male) and after I responded they said its time for me to get married.  I just laughed and said "Never."  Then the conversation evolved into my thoughts about Korean women and such....
Anyway, I thought more about it and I can't possibly envision even ONE benefit to getting married. Especially in Korea. I'm just honestly wondering if anyone actually has a better life after getting married.  Sure doesn't seem like it, but hey maybe I'm hanging out with the wrong people

[hilarity ensues]

I think it depends on why you're getting married.
Being 27 years old isn't a good reason to get married.

[Jozigirl]

Try being an unmarried 30 year old female in Korea.  I constantly have older male teachers asking me if they can set me up on blind dates because I need to get married this year in their opinion 

[bapagi]

yea it just doesn't make sense. 
such big life decisions are doomed to fail if they are forced like that.

[0mnslnd]

Their main intention wasn't to encourage you to get married.. they just wanted to know your age. THEY ALL DO. Otherwise they can't sleep at night.

Hey, I got a Korean joke. How do you keep a Korean in suspense? : Send THE perfect resume, but censor your date of birth.

I got issues. I know

[eggieguffer]

You might as well ask why people in their twenties don't play with dolls any more or why people in their sixties don't go to discos. The typical single life is just something most people grow out eventually. You obviously haven't reached that stage yet. When I was 12 I couldn't understand why anyone wouldn't want to spend the rest of their life  making model tanks.

[Snowytin]

I posted earlier without haven't written anything below the quoted text. I feel that marriage in Korea is more like a thing on a 'to do list'. Could perhaps explain why there is such a high divorce rate or why my old co-teacher would moan about her husband.

I have a few Korean girlfriends who have married a man purely based on his status and job. No love. Just a contract.

[TheAmbassador]

Then the conversation evolved into my thoughts about Korean women and such....
Anyway, I thought more about it and I can't possibly envision even ONE benefit to getting married. Especially in Korea.

I'm just sure there isn't a hilariously racist reason for this.

Please, tell us about Korean women.

[Davox]

Then the conversation evolved into my thoughts about Korean women and such....
Anyway, I thought more about it and I can't possibly envision even ONE benefit to getting married. Especially in Korea.

I'm just sure there isn't a hilariously racist reason for this.

Please, tell us about Korean women.

It doesn't have to be racist.  Could be he's just not planning on being in Korea long term.  Getting married here would present a problem for that plan.

[summerthyme]

I get the opposite.  I'm 24 (female) and engaged.  When my co-teacher told my coworkers, they all asked me if my boyfriend was rich and told me that I was too young.  The librarian told me to "enjoy the time before marriage" because "marriage is very different," ha ha ha.   

[Cereal]

Then the conversation evolved into my thoughts about Korean women and such....
Anyway, I thought more about it and I can't possibly envision even ONE benefit to getting married. Especially in Korea.

I'm just sure there isn't a hilariously racist reason for this.

Please, tell us about Korean women.

It doesn't have to be racist.  Could be he's just not planning on being in Korea long term.  Getting married here would present a problem for that plan.

It sure would.

I like being married. I also couldn't imagine being married to a Korean woman. I can envision nothing but hassles and headaches and princess syndrome. It has nothing to do with racism, my wife comes from the polar opposite of the world I grew up in.

[hilarity ensues]

You might as well ask why people in their twenties don't play with dolls any more or why people in their sixties don't go to discos. The typical single life is just something most people grow out eventually. You obviously haven't reached that stage yet. When I was 12 I couldn't understand why anyone wouldn't want to spend the rest of their life  making model tanks.

Actually, 'OMG I SO SO SO HAVE TO GET MARRIED ONE DAY OR I WILL DIE ALONE OH NO' is something you grow out of... the sooner, the better. 

I can't believe you're comparing not being married to playing with dolls.

[leporello]

Some students asked me, "how old are you?" today (I'm 27, male) and after I responded they said its time for me to get married.  I just laughed and said "Never."  Then the conversation evolved into my thoughts about Korean women and such....
Anyway, I thought more about it and I can't possibly envision even ONE benefit to getting married. Especially in Korea. I'm just honestly wondering if anyone actually has a better life after getting married.  Sure doesn't seem like it, but hey maybe I'm hanging out with the wrong people

Listen, don't feel particularly put out about it...In Korean society, marriage is traditionally seen an important step on the path to full adulthood...

I'm 31, and at my elementary school I get asked all the time when I'm getting married, have I got a girlfriend etc etc on a daily basis... It doesn't particularly bother me any more...

I'm was engaged to a Korean girl once... She was a really wonderful person, but I think we were just too incompatible to get married...Sure, some Korean women are nuts, but I guess it just depends on who you meet..There are some good ones out there as well...

[summerthyme]

Sure, some Korean women are nuts, but I guess it just depends on who you meet..There are some good ones out there as well...

How about we replace "Korean women" with "people."

"Sure, some people are nuts, but I guess it just depends on who you meet..There are some good ones out there as well..."

That seems pretty accurate.

I'd also like to gently remind posters that racism and sexism are not encouraged on waygook, so please word your posts carefully

[IslandGook]

Been married three years.  Never made a better decision in my life.

Awesome reason #1: Even with the ups and downs, I know there is someone in my corner, always. 

Awesome reason#2: Since I've committed to this one person, I've also had to really reflect on they ways that I'm not being a good partner to her and then try to make myself a better person.  If I don't do that it's going to be a long and unhappy journey for us.  I'm becoming a better person in general because I'm committed to being a better partner.

Awesome reason #3: My wife is awesome.  She is a beautiful, radiant being and I am lucky enough to get to spend my life with her. 

Yes, I suppose all of those things can happen without the social construct of marriage.  Frankly, though, that construct has seen us through some down times that we might not have persevered if not for the promise we'd made to each other.  I'm a better person today than I would have been without it.

[Wretchard]

Been married three years.  Never made a better decision in my life.

Awesome reason #1: Even with the ups and downs, I know there is someone in my corner, always. 

Awesome reason#2: Since I've committed to this one person, I've also had to really reflect on they ways that I'm not being a good partner to her and then try to make myself a better person.  If I don't do that it's going to be a long and unhappy journey for us.  I'm becoming a better person in general because I'm committed to being a better partner.

Awesome reason #3: My wife is awesome.  She is a beautiful, radiant being and I am lucky enough to get to spend my life with her. 

Yes, I suppose all of those things can happen without the social construct of marriage.  Frankly, though, that construct has seen us through some down times that we might not have persevered if not for the promise we'd made to each other.  I'm a better person today than I would have been without it.

Ah, that was sweet. Gonna go out and find me a nice wife this weekend after reading that ;-)

[woman-king]

Then the conversation evolved into my thoughts about Korean women and such....
Anyway, I thought more about it and I can't possibly envision even ONE benefit to getting married. Especially in Korea.

I'm just sure there isn't a hilariously racist reason for this.

Please, tell us about Korean women.

It doesn't have to be racist.  Could be he's just not planning on being in Korea long term.  Getting married here would present a problem for that plan.

Yeah, I think that a lot of us who see Korea as a short-term thing we're doing to travel and make some money in our 20s feel that way.  Has nothing to do with anyone's skin color.

I've also seen a lot of the "business transaction" type of marriages/relationships, although I've also met very genuine and loving Korean couples, of course. 

There's been a lot of studies (in the U.S.) about how married people tend to live longer, rate their overall quality of life higher, be healthier, etc.  This doesn't entirely convince me that being married alone is what causes all this happiness--maybe more optimistic people are more apt to commit to a long-term relationship or something--but it's interesting.  I know some unhappily married people at home in the States--but really, when I think about it, most of the marriages I've personally seen/known were happy and successful and seemed to add a lot of positive-ness to each person's life.  Also, if you really analyze divorce rates, the whole "50% end in divorce" thing is a bit skewed.  Statistically, marriage success is heavily influenced by things like age and education level and other compatibility-related things.  It's pretty interesting.

So overall, I personally have a pretty positive view on marriage and I can understand why it continues to be such a powerful institution despite its potential pitfalls.

[leporello]

Sure, some Korean women are nuts, but I guess it just depends on who you meet..There are some good ones out there as well...

How about we replace "Korean women" with "people."

"Sure, some people are nuts, but I guess it just depends on who you meet..There are some good ones out there as well..."

That seems pretty accurate.

I'd also like to gently remind posters that racism and sexism are not encouraged on waygook, so please word your posts carefully

Allright...Fair cop gov

[TriKorea]

HA! Time to get married.... I really don't like that Koreans tend to think marriage needs to be part of life. I don't plan on getting married (at least not anytime in the near future), and am asked all the time if I have a boyfriend or am married. Also, Koreans use that as part of their ranking system (in terms of language) If you and a Korean are the same age, and they are married and you are not, they are ranked hire in their society then you... at least I have been told this is why Koreans as so many questions we see as 'personal'.

I have talked with some of the teachers at my school, and some of the kids, they have all told me the reason they will get married is for money. Hearing this is a huge turn-off for me to their culture. One of the ladies I work with, who is about 33 and unmarried, said she just wants to get married so shes not lonely when she's old. It saddens me, that not one Korean that I've talked to about marriage said they will do it for love. That's just the experience I've had at my school, it may not be true everywhere here.


Ha - on a side note, I told a Korean girl (who I was friends with) that I didn't want to have children, she pretty much called me crazy and she really hasn't hung out with me again. I guess to her, that is unheard of!

[IslandGook]

Food for thought: Korea doesn't have much of a social safety net for old people.  Families depend on their children and maybe grandchildren to ensure that they can live comfortably in their old age. 

Not getting married here puts you in the position of being alone and penniless when you are old and infirm.

Also, many Korean families have intergenerational responsibilities such as caring for the ancestral tomb.  Choosing not to have children means you are abandoning the family that came before you in some respects.