Drive-by boob grab. Can I move?

[CAdreamin]

As I was walking home one evening (8:45PM) from the subway station to my apartment, I heard running footsteps behind me and thought that someone was running late (as Koreans are always in a hurry) and didn't think anything of it. But to my surprise, this running man grabbed my chest with both hands from behind, gave em a squeeze and ran away.
I contacted the police who are in the process of "investigating" this for me currently, but in the meanwhile, it's been scary times for me wherever I go.
My apartment building doesn't have a security guard or a working CCTV, which I grew accustomed to after some time. But I have consistently gotten strange knocks on my door in the wee hours, and when I ask who's there, no answer.
The mystery knocking on my door wasn't too bad, but combined with the sexual harassment on the street...After I get home from work, I haven't been able to go anywhere out of fear that it will happen again.
I'd like to make a request to my school that they provide me with a different place to live. Any suggestions on going about it? 

[Jeff619]

That really sucks for you.  I'd imagine you're pretty scared and to me it sounds like it could be the same guy knocking on your door.  As far as changing apartments goes, it might be really tough.  The school has a contract on that apartment for the year and they aren't really easy to get out of.  Anyway, just ask.  If they are anything like the heads at my school I'm sure they'd do whatever they can to help you out.  It's an awful situation to be in and you really shouldn't have to live in fear. 

I have wondered before if it's possible to buy mace or pepper spray here.  I've never seen it, but with all the harassment that happens here it would seem like a profitable product.  Hmmmm....off to do some research...

[yeti08]

That really sucks for you.  I'd imagine you're pretty scared and to me it sounds like it could be the same guy knocking on your door.  As far as changing apartments goes, it might be really tough.  The school has a contract on that apartment for the year and they aren't really easy to get out of.  Anyway, just ask.  If they are anything like the heads at my school I'm sure they'd do whatever they can to help you out.  It's an awful situation to be in and you really shouldn't have to live in fear. 

I have wondered before if it's possible to buy mace or pepper spray here.  I've never seen it, but with all the harassment that happens here it would seem like a profitable product.  Hmmmm....off to do some research...

Both are not legal to carry or use.  And as sad as it is the police will do nothing about this.  Sorry about the situation, hope your school helps you out.

[yeti08]

"In South Korea, pepper spray containing OC is legal..."  from Wikipedia, not sure what would happen if you used it however as a waygook.

My wife said it's illegal though, so not 100% sure.

[Smaug]

u need to protect yourself. forget about laws and stuff like that. i do not want you to go crazy on fear. but if someone is knocking on ur door a lot and u know or do not suspect kids u could be in big trouble. i do not think u should open the door if they do that too. best thing to do is to talk to a woman or lots of women who lives by you - get a translater to tell her the story then u can ask if she can watch and take calls from u when you get knocks or are scared at home. sorry i can not help more. sad thing is for you is that big fat guys like me do not get this trouble. sorry that does not help you. but ya carry and get mace or peeper spray also when you get it test it so u know how to shoot it. no cop is going to give a female a ticket when he hears your true story of fear even if you bump into him and the mace donks him on his foot from your sweaty hand at night. do not get a knife then the guy will just kill u with it cause u r afraid to poke him 1st.

also if you are attacked grab the guy in the balls and squeeze. i know that sounds terrible but if you try for a head shot or bang on his chest u most like will just make him mad. if u can not reach his balls then u need to try and get your whole hand around one of his little fingers. then try to break it. this is the best way to stop a choker. sorry i can not teach u my cool fat guy fight skills but u can take some combat fight stuff cheap here. don't take tae kwon do i can tear up the greatest fly kick kid in half if i get my hands on him.

[woman-king]

I believe certain kinds of pepper spray are illegal here and certain kinds are not. 

As yucky and frightening as your groping incident was, I'd be FAR more disturbed about getting knocks on my door in the middle of the night, on more than one occasion.  Someone groping you on the street is bad enough . . . someone knowing where you live is really scary.  Do you have friends in your apartment building?  People you can check in with who could come check on you, or make a phone call for you if needed?

And disregard people who tell you the police "won't do anything."  It's doubtful they'll arrest someone for this, but you've let them know you're an assertive foreigner who knows what's going on and isn't afraid to "lose face" reporting someone who crosses you.

[DWAEDGIMORIGUKBAP]

If it were me, I'd buy a cpl of guy friends a cpl of six packs of good beer and ask them to hold guard near or around your building one or two nights.  They see anyone going to your floor and the guy knocks on your door, well, let's say they discourage him from ever doing it again...

[Frozencat99]

It seems many of the options open to you are decidedly gendered, sadly.

A friend of mine has one of these (unfortunately, she's had to use it; fortunately, it was quite successful) http://www.selfdefenseproducts.com/Wild-Kat-Keychains-p-16464.html though I'm unsure of their legality here. I know stun guns and pepper spray are only authorized for police and security firms.

Perhaps if the person comes around at the same time, you can work through the police (directly or with a translator) and have someone come by at that time.

I do hope your situation gets sorted, it'd be terrible to live in fear of someone re-offending or escalating it further. I won't say not to worry, but I've had knocks, bangs, and people trying to use my keypad a long time after sunset... it happens infrequently to me, and I don't want to disarm you, but it could be an unrelated soju-related incident.

Keep safe.

[WorkingTitle3484]

They sell mini baseball bats...home protection systems...at Emart/Homeplus.  My lady had one right near the door when I was on vacay/not around.

Talk to your school, preferably a woman higher up, and it's not unreasonable to ask for a change due to lack of security issues.  They may gripe about breaking contract with the owner, but your safety is your safety, i.e. non-negotiable.  Don't take "Give it time" for an answer.

Criminals/students work in this fashion: start small, don't get caught, justify that it's OK, do something larger.  To be sexually assaulted is not OK nor will it be easily solved by the police.  Coppers back home may have trouble solving this, and I feel it'll be more of a fruitless cause getting the local Korean cops to help a foreigner's/woman's situation.

Also, Pighead Soup is right.  Ask some guy friends to help you out, I'm sure they'd do it for free too.  Having them split a sixer or 2 will prevent further instances.  Do it soon so the perps can be dissuaded.

Do that or maybe bunk with a close friend if your school doesn't budge.

[Keuka]

The realistic (and unfortunate) answer to your original question is that your school will probably move you after something serious does indeed happen.   What you can do is to request a meeting and ask to be moved, or have your locks upgraded and beefed up to include a deadbolt lock.  This type of issue is very awkward for public school principals and officials here, so you will have to do all that you can do to not give the stalker any opportunity to do something. 

 

[yeti08]

Sadly this is right, that doesn't mean give up.  A co-teacher of mine had an apartment infested with cockroaches (I know this much less serious than a stalker), but it gives perspective.  When he asked to be moved the owner of the hagwon shrugged it off.  He then demanded to be moved.  So the owner bought him roach traps, like he hadn't thought of that.  He then brought pictures in and the owner had an exterminator come in.  The co-teacher had a Korean friend there when the exterminator came to ask how severe the problem was.  The exterminator said he'd have to do the whole building to fully get rid of them, but he could only do his apartment and around the ground floor base outside.  The roaches weren't a problem for 2 days after the exterminator, but shortly after 2 days they began to re-infest the apartment.  The hagwon was one that liked to pay late and not pay the full amount on payday.  The co-teacher did a midnight runner.  I got his classes on top of mine as a favor.....for 2 weeks....
Most Korean owners and principals will do everything to keep you at your apartment, no matter the circumstances.

[Spongeblob]

I'm sorry that happened to you.

Here are some security tips that you may find useful.

Likely the school will not relocate you so you need to demand an extra set of locks on your door.  Chain locks are useless.  Deadbolt locks are best.  You are the only one who gets the keys.  If your door opens inward get a small triangle wedge and put it under the door every night.  Also, purchase one of those door chimes that rings when the door is opened and hang it up.  Many Korean apartments have a second set of doors so lock those too.  If you live near the ground floor or have a balcony lock up that door or window as well.

Get a camera or request a camera.  You can mount this near your door to observe who is knocking.  You could request the apartment buy a functioning camera or a fake camera to discourage future visitors.

Having your pals wait for the perv perp is good and bad.  It may discourage them or it may start a cycle of revenge attacks.  Also, assault is not legal so even though perv perp has bad intentions beating him up means they legally become bad guys too.

Personal Protection:
Home: Anything.  If an intruder breaks in nuke him.
Outside: Hairpin (big long and sharp to stick in his eye or balls).  Cell Phone Camera (take a pic and show the world).   Pepper Spray (becareful you don't spray yourself).

Perv. Perp. Method of Operation:
Snatch and Grabber.  He is following you and waiting for the opportune time to cop a feel.  He has attempted it and now feels emboldened so unaware of any police involvement he will likely try again.  If he does know your apartment it is likely that he knows your route that you take to work, store etc.

Solutions:
Involve the Police.  Inform School and Buddies.  Take Security Precautions above.  Vary up your routes and routines while maintaining a vigilant state of awareness.  Keep an eye out for the perp trailing you.  (Use window reflections.)  You have seen him once and that is where he failed big time.  You know what he looks like.  If you see him again take a picture and give it to the police.  Spend time in big groups especially when walking.  The perv perp will not be able to do anything with others around.

Now that being said the guy sounds like an idiot.  He copped a feel on the street which means he probably figured you were a foreigner and wouldn't report him.  I believe having got away with it once he may try again so becareful.  Don't live in fear over it but be ready for this fool if he returns.  Hope it helps.

Spongeblob

[Yu_Bumsuk]

The best thing you could probably do is find a big western guy who would be nice enough to pretend to be your boyfriend for a few days, walk you home, and answer any strange knocks in a very aggressive manner.

Also, learn where all the CCTV cameras are around your place and your walk home. If you think he's lurking stay close to these.

[gookway]

Sorry to hear this.  It is most likely the same person so reporting the incidents will help the local police.   You are probably not the only one he has done this to.  I'm sure he has done this locals too.  Foreigners shouldn't think that they are the only "targets" in these matters.  That man probably has done it to locals in the past and got away with it which is why he continues to do it.

If there's anyway to catch a picture or video of him (although at night is difficult) would help.  Stay in well lit areas, avoid those ominous 'shortcut' routes, see if you have any friends you can travel with.

Lastly, just because it's korea, we don't know for sure it's a korean.  It could easily be another foreigner (I don't mean NET but the migrant workers from SE asia that look korean too).  Foreigner crimes are very high and often unreported in Korean news for fear of causing racial hate or social issues.   

[Yu_Bumsuk]

Foreigner crimes are very high and often unreported in Korean news for fear of causing racial hate or social issues.

Say what! You must not read the Korea Times very much. You may also want to search Gusts of Popular Feeling for actual foreigner crime rates.

[sheila]

Also you may want to check your phone... when I'm walking at night I hold onto mine because it has a security feature on it.  If I hold one button long enough, a super annoying and loud security alarm will go off.  I've tested it out before when walking and people definitely looked around to see what it is.  See if your phone has that option.

Don't walk with your earphones in and be super aware of your surroundings.  Are there any stores or shops you can go into if you feel you're being followed? Keep the English police line on speed dial when walking.

Your school most likely won't relocate you at all. The realator fees are very high and you'd probably have to pay for both yourself (about $500 total). But make sure your boss is definitely aware of the situation just in case. Best of luck with this situation~

[Andyroo]

Putting a CCTV camera near your front door, even a fake one sounds good.

I wouldn't worry about the legality of pepper spray/mace apart from the importing part.

If you needed to use it you wouldn't care about the consequences ... if they actually tried to punish you even Koreans would protest for you.

[#basedcowboyshirt]

I'm a male, but there's a possibility that the noises you're hearing at your door in the night are advertisers putting up flyers on your door, or locksmiths putting their phone number on your door latch. If you've noticed any of these things, there's a chance that may be what it is. I'm not discounting the fact that it might be something more sinister, but after a few freakouts hearing noises at my door at weird times, I realized that's what it was in my case.

[Frozencat99]

Putting a CCTV camera near your front door, even a fake one sounds good.

I wouldn't worry about the legality of pepper spray/mace apart from the importing part.

If you needed to use it you wouldn't care about the consequences ... if they actually tried to punish you even Koreans would protest for you.

She definitely should worry. Even if we're operating under the assumption that the late night knocker is the same person, there is no possible way to link the man to it, and we all know how 'he said, she said' would play out in Korea (even between two Koreans). If she sprays someone who gets too close out of panic, she'll be liable to fines, prison terms, assault charges, deportation... self-defense is legal here, but you'd destroy your legal grounds by using an illegal weapon.

I'd also hope she won't go the route of "pay some strong friends in booze to protect her". That'd be the nicest powder-keg to go off on foreigners in quite some time.

The fake/real CCTV cameras are an excellent suggestion, and if your school thinks they are too expensive, perhaps you can get one of those doorbell systems that has a camera function. If someone knocks on your door at night and covers the camera, speed dial the police. If they don't, you can take a picture of the feed from your video camera and have a legitimate way of linking A to B.

[CAdreamin]

Thanks guys for the suggestions!
I'm a gyopo, so the pervert probably assumed I was Korean...
I informed my school about what happened, and you guys were right--my vp told me to take the main roads home, and not go anywhere late at night. No mention of anything else.
The police contacted me today and let me know that there's CCTV on the street so they saw the incident and the guy running away, but his face is blurry. They're on the lookout for a guy, late teens/mid twenties wearing a black North Face jacket and white shoes................. Too bad that's the standard winter uniform of Korean men...  :'(
I do have pepper spray and I carry my keys in between my fingers like wolverine when I walk alone.