Friends: Foreign and Korean

[DWAEDGIMORIGUKBAP]

I'm surprised nobody has mentioned gyopos (Korean-Americans, Korean-Canadians, etc).  If I didn't have Korean-American friends I probably would have left after my first year.  You get the best of both worlds.  They understand your language and your culture.  Also, they usually know better spots to hang out.  It's so much easier when they order food, plan a trip, get directions, etc. 

Something else is that they understand both sides so you can tell them about your culture clash stories and they totally get it. 

I have more gyopo friends than anything else.  I have foreigner friends because of baseball teams, teacher workshops, or who are former coworkers.  I generally find that the majority of them are pub frequenters and that's not my scene so I usually meet them less often or just for sports.

Most of us consider kyopos as fellow foriegners.  Furthermore, not to argue, but a lot of them I've met know less about Korea and the language then I, not all of them grew up in Korean households and are fluent in Korean.  A lot of them act no differently in their habbits than other waygookin.  Not fair to generalise them all methinks (I do not believe tha was your intention at all.)

[jammyb]

Well, in reading this discussion board, it appears that I am quite unique in having more Korean than foreign friends haha.

The reason I chose Korea as a country to teach English was largely because of the many Korean friends I had made whilst volunteering in an international voluntary community in England. There number of Korean coworkers far outnumbered any other nationality, so quite naturally a large proportion of my friendsships made were with Koreans.

Since coming over here my weekends have been spent travelling the length and breadth of the country to visit as many of my Korean friends as possible - and what a great way it has been to see the country, get special insights into the culture, and to experience their way of life first hand. I have been lucky enough to have been invited to the Chuseok and Lunar New Year celebrations by some of my friend's families, and seeing the preparation that goes into such celebrations has given me a new-found respect for their culture, and a reminder of the importance of tradition in celebrations.

I live in a location which has made it extremely difficult for me to meet foreigners on a regular basis, but at the same time this has provided me with the "total immersion" experience that another poster commented on. It has been challenging at times, but on the whole I am happy with my situation because it has taught me a lot more about the Korean way of life than I otherwise might have learned.

I have recently started taking Korean lessons, so I can't wait to see my Korean friends' reactions when I start speaking Hanguel to them! I think it is respectful to make this effort, and I'm slightly embarrassed that I haven't been able to do so sooner.

Having said all this, it would be great to have some more foreign friends to create that all important balance!

[marsavalanche]

I find Koreans some of the most boring people I've ever met.

No gyopos since every gyopo I meet has a chip on their shoulder against non-Koreans and some angry, jealous, insecure people in my experience.

Mostly foreigners or the few and far between interesting Korean I meet once a year.

[JahRhythm]

Am I the only one skeptical of people chasing the "total immersion" experience and surrounding themselves with Koreans.
Those people, in my experience, have been a little cookoo or lacking in personality so they find it hard to get on with other waygooks, but the Koreans dont pick up on their social shortcomings, finding them an amusing novelty.
Waygook loves the attention, kids themselves, and then starts proclaiming that Korean friends are superior, and oh! The cultural insights...blah blah.

Listen, before I get lit up, I have several dear, real Korean friends.
But my ratio is still about 75% wayg.

[DWAEDGIMORIGUKBAP]

Am I the only one skeptical of people chasing the "total immersion" experience and surrounding themselves with Koreans.
Those people, in my experience, have been a little cookoo or lacking in personality so they find it hard to get on with other waygooks, but the Koreans dont pick up on their social shortcomings, finding them an amusing novelty.
Waygook loves the attention, kids themselves, and then starts proclaiming that Korean friends are superior, and oh! The cultural insights...blah blah.

Listen, before I get lit up, I have several dear, real Korean friends.
But my ratio is still about 75% wayg.

Me too. They are often manic depressives (no exaggeration) or bascially what a friend of mine calls 'whack jobs.'   You ever notice how if when they gush about gimbap and you reply that it's 'an okay snack I guess' they'll accuse you of hating Korea etc and they are also the very same people whom have no idea of context and don't get it when Koreans are actually treating them rudely or like a fool in Korean culture lol.   You gotta lol.

[marsavalanche]

Am I the only one skeptical of people chasing the "total immersion" experience and surrounding themselves with Koreans.
Those people, in my experience, have been a little cookoo or lacking in personality so they find it hard to get on with other waygooks, but the Koreans dont pick up on their social shortcomings, finding them an amusing novelty.
Waygook loves the attention, kids themselves, and then starts proclaiming that Korean friends are superior, and oh! The cultural insights...blah blah.

Listen, before I get lit up, I have several dear, real Korean friends.
But my ratio is still about 75% wayg.

My favorite types are the "I'm too good to hang out with other foreigners" people.  Only associate themselves with Koreans and are in their "I'm too good for Itaewon" phase.

The ones that say Korean expressions like "화이팅" with their Korean friends with a Konglish accent.  Yes, picture a blond hair blue eyed white boy saying "화이팅" with his friends just like that.  Another one got dishonorably discharged from America, went to Korea basically as an economic migrant, and has since become a waygook-in-denial wannabe with his newfound Korean group that has accepted him and damns his home country every chance he gets. Shows up to the wedding in a hanbok.  They exist, and it's arguably sadder than the 300 pound anime nuts that go to Japan and try to impress the Japanese with their myopic view of their culture.

[chelino]

I also experience the dwindling foreign relationships phenomenon (completed my third year here and just signed for my fourth).  Most of my friends (in Korea) nowadays are Koreans from work or grad school.  I still have a few foreign friends but not as many as in the past.  Being busy all the time doesn't really help maintaining social relationships either. 

[justanotherwaygook]

I have recently started taking Korean lessons, so I can't wait to see my Korean friends' reactions when I start speaking Hanguel to them! I think it is respectful to make this effort, and I'm slightly embarrassed that I haven't been able to do so sooner.

I know it's a dead horse but....

Hangeul=Korean alphabet.
Hangugeo/Hangukmal=Korean language.

That is all.

[jimmyeatworldwar]

for me,


5 scotts 3 brits 2 german 5 american 2 canadians
4 koreans and 1 gyopo.

basically these are the only people i meet.

[SpaceRook]

I'm surprised nobody has mentioned gyopos (Korean-Americans, Korean-Canadians, etc).  If I didn't have Korean-American friends I probably would have left after my first year.  You get the best of both worlds.  They understand your language and your culture.  Also, they usually know better spots to hang out.  It's so much easier when they order food, plan a trip, get directions, etc. 

I am absolutely NOT interested in this type of relationship.  I don't want someone to order my food, plan my trips, get directions.  I'm living in a foreign country and want to learn self sufficiency.

I have nothing against gypos.  I just treat them like any other American / Canadian / etc....

[korr]

I used to hang out with all foreigners, but this year I've met a lot of Koreans, so now it's about 60/40.

I'm actually having a harder time meeting new foreign friends now. I'm always excited when new people move into my city and they're usually really nice, but at this point we're all so interested in different things that it's hard to find stuff in common. That and I'm more reluctant to get to know people who might be leaving in a year. Most of the foreigners I hang out with now are on their third or fourth year and are pretty settled.

[Koenji]

I'm surprised nobody has mentioned gyopos (Korean-Americans, Korean-Canadians, etc).  If I didn't have Korean-American friends I probably would have left after my first year.  You get the best of both worlds.  They understand your language and your culture.  Also, they usually know better spots to hang out.  It's so much easier when they order food, plan a trip, get directions, etc. 

I am absolutely NOT interested in this type of relationship.  I don't want someone to order my food, plan my trips, get directions.  I'm living in a foreign country and want to learn self sufficiency.

I have nothing against gypos.  I just treat them like any other American / Canadian / etc....

I agree with that.....and not all gyopos speak fluent Korean.....It's sometimes funny when I order something (my Korean is intermediate level) and the waiter immediately looks at my gyopo friend who speaks minimal Korean with a blank stare.

[DWAEDGIMORIGUKBAP]

I'm surprised nobody has mentioned gyopos (Korean-Americans, Korean-Canadians, etc).  If I didn't have Korean-American friends I probably would have left after my first year.  You get the best of both worlds.  They understand your language and your culture.  Also, they usually know better spots to hang out.  It's so much easier when they order food, plan a trip, get directions, etc. 

I am absolutely NOT interested in this type of relationship.  I don't want someone to order my food, plan my trips, get directions.  I'm living in a foreign country and want to learn self sufficiency.

I have nothing against gypos.  I just treat them like any other American / Canadian / etc....

I agree with that.....and not all gyopos speak fluent Korean.....It's sometimes funny when I order something (my Korean is intermediate level) and the waiter immediately looks at my gyopo friend who speaks minimal Korean with a blank stare.

Like when my ex Japanese squeeze (cool name for an album?) was out with me in Seoul (doesn't speak a word of Korean, was just visiting from Japan) the waiters and servers would look expectantly at her.

She would look flustered and baffled, I would explain in sollid Korean that she is Japanese and doesn't speak Korean, but I do.

Que the waiters and servers ignoring me and continuing to ask the Japanese girl in Korean....

Sigh.

[cowboy7]

I'm cool with not generalizing.  I realize that not all Korean-Americans are going to feel right at home in both worlds.  Personally, the majority of my gyopo friends speak Korean well.  Also, growing up, some of them would do a school year or two in the U.S. and then do the next year in Korea, and go back and forth until middle school.  I also find that many of my friends would go to Korea every year during summer or winter break so naturally they know a ton about it here.  Obviously, they know a lot more than most foreigners. 

And the point I was trying to get at with the ordering food, planning trips, etc. didn't seem well-received.  I can order food just fine but it's just easier if my friend shoots out what everyone wants all at once.  As for planning trips, many pensions and resorts don't have people that speak English well so I sort of rely on my friend's to call about availability and make reservations.  And further, most Korean websites don't have an English version.  Google chrome doesn't always translate everything, so I find it hard to do research. 

[jdh0827]

I lived in a much smaller Korean city my first year here, and had a nice healthy mix of foreigner, Korean, and gyopo friends. Now I live in Seoul, and my circle of friends has shrunk significantly, especially the Korean friends. 

[Munwon]

I find Koreans some of the most boring people I've ever met.

No gyopos since every gyopo I meet has a chip on their shoulder against non-Koreans and some angry, jealous, insecure people in my experience.

Mostly foreigners or the few and far between interesting Korean I meet once a year.

Agreed 100%

[SpaceRook]

I find Koreans some of the most boring people I've ever met.

No gyopos since every gyopo I meet has a chip on their shoulder against non-Koreans and some angry, jealous, insecure people in my experience.

Mostly foreigners or the few and far between interesting Korean I meet once a year.

Agreed 100%

I think the problem with many Koreans is that they spend all their time working.  Therefor, they have little else to talk about.  Also, if they are speaking in English, you need to cut them some slack.  It's hard to have nuanced conversations in a foreign language.

I have a question for foreigners with Korean friends (especially boyfriends/girlfriends): what do you talk about?  I struggle with this.  By my observation, Korean couples don't even talk that much amongst themselves at dinner. 
 

[Bulgogi]

I find Koreans some of the most boring people I've ever met.

No gyopos since every gyopo I meet has a chip on their shoulder against non-Koreans and some angry, jealous, insecure people in my experience.

Mostly foreigners or the few and far between interesting Korean I meet once a year.

Agreed 100%

I think the problem with many Koreans is that they spend all their time working.  Therefor, they have little else to talk about.  Also, if they are speaking in English, you need to cut them some slack.  It's hard to have nuanced conversations in a foreign language.

I have a question for foreigners with Korean friends (especially boyfriends/girlfriends): what do you talk about?  I struggle with this.  By my observation, Korean couples don't even talk that much amongst themselves at dinner. 
 

My situation is different but nonetheless relevant to your question...
I'm Asian-American and my Korean girlfriend and I always have something to talk about over dinner or dates.  Seriously we never really run out of stuff to talk about over a 2-3 hour dinner.  And I'm not Korean nor do I speak Korean fluently but I do speak another Asian language.  Besides that, she's really determined to learn my other Asian language too so we're always teaching each other how to say stuff.  Usually we would just talk about how similar Korean culture is to my ethnic culture and how different it is to American culture and so forth. 

[Trose89]

More Korean....

Even though I'm a foreigner ... I live around only OLD foreigners that I have nothing in common with.  (married couples, and men over 40)

So ... I take my 22 year old self and go hangout with Koreans my age...