Korean girlfriend vs Korea...when we're together in public

[Nizzy]

I’m a lady of Black, Polish, and Navajo decent with a Korean boyfriend. We have been together for 2 years now and I admit I was very embarrassed to hold hands with him in public because of all the stares we would get. I started to become so self conscious that I actually wanted to suggest not holding hands anymore, but I quickly realized how ridiculous that feeling/idea was. We are a couple; it is our right to hold hands in public! I also started to worry, “What if my boyfriend is also uncomfortable” after all its “his people” judging him more so than me because I’m the foreigner. I also knew that it would really crush my sprit if he was feeling the same “stare shame” that I was. One day I asked him if all the stares made him uncomfortable. He laughed and said, “Are you kidding me? I love it, because I know they are all jealous and thinking how I got such an exotic looking girlfriend and that my English must be really good and that maybe I’m rich and I lived abroad.” LOL I know there are different “stigmas/concepts” attached to Korean man+western woman or Korean woman+western man. But the point I’m trying to make is, because he was so confident in himself and proud of me he NEVER felt the urge to hide our relationship from his friends, families, and society. So AlivePoet I’m sure your girlfriend knows how proud you are of her, but she also needs to be proud of you. If she is truly proud of you she won’t care if the world is staring and judging her. When I realized how proud my boyfriend was of me and us I got over my “stare shame” because his strength gave me pride.     

[st8oftheart15]

That's true Nizzy!  I'm black, and my Korean ex was damn proud to walk hand in hand with me.  There were times when it just pissed both of us off, but it was like a Bonnie and Clyde thing.  Like we're in it together and they can kiss our ass!

[madison79]

I’m a lady of Black, Polish, and Navajo decent with a Korean boyfriend. We have been together for 2 years now and I admit I was very embarrassed to hold hands with him in public because of all the stares we would get. I started to become so self conscious that I actually wanted to suggest not holding hands anymore, but I quickly realized how ridiculous that feeling/idea was. We are a couple; it is our right to hold hands in public! I also started to worry, “What if my boyfriend is also uncomfortable” after all its “his people” judging him more so than me because I’m the foreigner. I also knew that it would really crush my sprit if he was feeling the same “stare shame” that I was. One day I asked him if all the stares made him uncomfortable. He laughed and said, “Are you kidding me? I love it, because I know they are all jealous and thinking how I got such an exotic looking girlfriend and that my English must be really good and that maybe I’m rich and I lived abroad.” LOL I know there are different “stigmas/concepts” attached to Korean man+western woman or Korean woman+western man. But the point I’m trying to make is, because he was so confident in himself and proud of me he NEVER felt the urge to hide our relationship from his friends, families, and society. So AlivePoet I’m sure your girlfriend knows how proud you are of her, but she also needs to be proud of you. If she is truly proud of you she won’t care if the world is staring and judging her. When I realized how proud my boyfriend was of me and us I got over my “stare shame” because his strength gave me pride.     

I kind of think it's a double standard for Korean men vs Korean women.  IF a Korean man has foreign women it's high fives all around but darn you (Korean women) for dating outside of your race. 

[wijooseon101]

It really sucks when relationship issues get sweet into this, but the truth Koreas strength and weakness is there need to be on a similar level with the people around them and be acknowledged in the public light. You definitely need to speak to your girlfriend and get a clear idea what she wants to do from this point on.

[Bulgogi]

I’m a lady of Black, Polish, and Navajo decent with a Korean boyfriend. We have been together for 2 years now and I admit I was very embarrassed to hold hands with him in public because of all the stares we would get. I started to become so self conscious that I actually wanted to suggest not holding hands anymore, but I quickly realized how ridiculous that feeling/idea was. We are a couple; it is our right to hold hands in public! I also started to worry, “What if my boyfriend is also uncomfortable” after all its “his people” judging him more so than me because I’m the foreigner. I also knew that it would really crush my sprit if he was feeling the same “stare shame” that I was. One day I asked him if all the stares made him uncomfortable. He laughed and said, “Are you kidding me? I love it, because I know they are all jealous and thinking how I got such an exotic looking girlfriend and that my English must be really good and that maybe I’m rich and I lived abroad.” LOL I know there are different “stigmas/concepts” attached to Korean man+western woman or Korean woman+western man. But the point I’m trying to make is, because he was so confident in himself and proud of me he NEVER felt the urge to hide our relationship from his friends, families, and society. So AlivePoet I’m sure your girlfriend knows how proud you are of her, but she also needs to be proud of you. If she is truly proud of you she won’t care if the world is staring and judging her. When I realized how proud my boyfriend was of me and us I got over my “stare shame” because his strength gave me pride.     

I kind of think it's a double standard for Korean men vs Korean women.  IF a Korean man has foreign women it's high fives all around but darn you (Korean women) for dating outside of your race.

Oh wake up and smell the coffee man.

It's the STILL the same in the west, especially in the U.S.  White guy/Asian girl relationship gets the high-five...while Asian guy/White girl relationship gets the look-down.

Example:

Asian guy dates white girl-  White guy thinks "Why is she with someone less manly than me?", "Why is she with a sexually inferior Asian man?"

Oh might as well throw in all the stereotypes that Hollywood and racist white America has created to desexualized the Asian men within the past century and then you'll begin to understand why.

[sejongthefabulous]

Here if a foreign man married a Korean woman they don't qualify as marriage immigrants and miss out on most of the government assistance provided to multicultural families. I don't know if said institutional discrimination exists in the USA....because of the assumed lack of institutional discrimination in the USA vs the existence of it here I'm going to say foreign males have it worse here. It's too difficult to measure the stares here vs in USA.

[justanotherwaygook]

Wrong, Bulgogi.

White man-Asian woman in the West are just as often looked at as pathetic.

You realize the crap I've heard about getting myself an "Asian bride" from people back in the US?

[Peekay1982]

Oh wake up and smell the coffee man.

It's the STILL the same in the west, especially in the U.S.  White guy/Asian girl relationship gets the high-five...while Asian guy/White girl relationship gets the look-down.

Example:

Asian guy dates white girl-  White guy thinks "Why is she with someone less manly than me?", "Why is she with a sexually inferior Asian man?"

Oh might as well throw in all the stereotypes that Hollywood and racist white America has created to desexualized the Asian men within the past century and then you'll begin to understand why.

I'm always reading stuff like this on the internet, but speaking from personal experience I feel like most people don't care at all (er, outside Korea). My ex came with me to the UK to meet my friends and family and no-one said anything at all about any of these kinds of stereotypes.

Admittedly Asian-origin guys having relationships with western women might have had different, negative experiences, I wouldn't know. But I do know more than a few Asian guy/white girl couples and neither I nor anyone else in our circle see those relationships as less valid. I don't think many (sane, experienced) people buy into Hollywood stereotypes of Asian guys either nowadays. There are people like Daniel Henney and Lain Pee Rain showing a masculine, positive image of Asian men in mainstream cinema too. Even Harold in Harold & Kumar isn't a stereotypical geek - he's a geek but he has some success with women, he has social skills etc.

I just find the whole mindset of anyone who would comment on anyone else's relationship astonishing. (Particularly when it's some random people you see in the street.)

[Chadwickhhs]

Heck...  in America still, if your an Asian guy going out with a white girl you still get looked down upon on by people (speaking from experience)and usually its glares by younger white guys and old white folks.

lolwut. 
What part of America are you from? I've never seen that happen but my evidence is anecdotal evidence as well. You wouldn't get crap where I'm from but I'm MidAtlantic (NYC). It's a huge country and it has a ton of crap-spots but I find most people on my end are pretty decent, multicultural and civilized.

[kps1]

Heck...  in America still, if your an Asian guy going out with a white girl you still get looked down upon on by people (speaking from experience)and usually its glares by younger white guys and old white folks.

lolwut. 
What part of America are you from? I've never seen that happen but my evidence is anecdotal evidence as well. You wouldn't get crap where I'm from but I'm MidAtlantic (NYC). It's a huge country and it has a ton of crap-spots but I find most people on my end are pretty decent, multicultural and civilized.

I dont think you're being looked down upon, I think white people are more surprised that a white girl would like an asian guy. Sounds bad, but you do find a lot less white girls go for asian guys as compared to white guys going for asian girls.

[Jrong]

Heck...  in America still, if your an Asian guy going out with a white girl you still get looked down upon on by people (speaking from experience)and usually its glares by younger white guys and old white folks.

lolwut. 
What part of America are you from? I've never seen that happen but my evidence is anecdotal evidence as well. You wouldn't get crap where I'm from but I'm MidAtlantic (NYC). It's a huge country and it has a ton of crap-spots but I find most people on my end are pretty decent, multicultural and civilized.

I dont think you're being looked down upon, I think white people are more surprised that a white girl would like an asian guy. Sounds bad, but you do find a lot less white girls go for asian guys as compared to white guys going for asian girls.

I was about to say the same thing...