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[capebretonbarbarian]

My co teacher asked me for some advice on how to deal with foreigners to use in a workshop.  She handed me something a foreigner who worked at my school back in 2004 wrote and asked me to add to it.  Would anyone like to share any ideas, keeping in mind that Koreans can be sensitive, as can we, when giving criticisms. 

Some the previous teacher mentioned were-

-Don't comment on personal appearances.  You look tired, fat.  What is that on you face?  etc..  Even when you think you're being kind, what is acceptable in your country maybe different than the foreigners.  Example- mentioned  was telling a girl she has sex appeal today.  Probably not a good idea.   

-Try to use, you should, as opposed to do this or that.

-Don't use OK.

-Say please.  Could you open the door, please.  Not- Open the door. 

Some of mine

1.  We don't like to be given assignments at the last minute.  We are busy and it can be difficult to meet a last minute deadline.  Please give us as much notice as possible. 
This is number one on my list as my co teacher gave it to me at 3:30 and asked to have it by 5 on the same day.  Meanwhile, I was preparing a lesson.
2.  Don't expect a foreigner to like a Korean foods.  Many do not like fish, some are vegetarians and some will not even like kimchi.

I have many, but I know everybody's experience here can be different. So, any suggestions you have for Korean's dealing with foreigners would be great.

Thanks

[AlexMokpo]

1. 
I would like to change one of the ones your co-teacher had already:
"you should blah blah"  instead of "do blah blah"
Personally, i HATE it when I'm told I SHOULD do something, and I actually made a whole lesson around the difference between SHOULD and MUST (choice, no choice.  respectively) because it is the same word in Korean.
Rather, I tell my co-teacher to word an order as a question.
Eg:  give me the papers
  --> could you give me the papers, please?
And I explain that even though it's a question, we understand it as an order.  It just sounds more polite.

2.
Yes, ALWAYS ALWAYS ALYWAYS SAY PLEASE
my co-teacher actually came to me the other day and DID say "give me the papers".  Even though I knew he didn't mean to me mean, all the bells in my system went off as "whoa...don't take that tone with me, mr."
So I was equally rude (because I lack finesse...) and dangled the papers saying "PLEASE give me the papers". 
What was frustrating was that he said "yes"
so I repeated myself again.  "PLEEAAASE Give me the papers"
He looked perplexed and scared.
Finally I had to explain that I wanted him to say please.
He then divulged that he had pondered over this in his office before coming to see me (as you know, all conversations with your co-teacher have been pre-prepared, thought out, and memorized before hand) and debated over whether or not to say please.
In the end, he decided he did not need to because I was younger than he.  So I had to explain that you say please all the time in English, regardless of age difference.

(whoa, I'm getting as wordy and roundabout as smee in my replies )

3.
Foreigners don't eat the same thing every day for every meal, soo....
a) Asking "what do you eat for breakfast/dinner" is an awkward question requiring more time for an answer than you're expecting
b) Please understand that sometimes we don't want plain white tasteless rice for lunch (on your behalf, V.  I eat it all the time, but I understand completely)

[Virginia]

This is a really interesting idea.

I'd add

1) Do not stare at me.

2) It is inappropriate to touch a woman's hair, breasts, waist, or bum in public, regardless of the gender of the toucher.

3) There are things that are acceptable in Korea that are considered to be shockingly impolite in Canada: pushing, cutting in line, spitting on the sidewalk (or the classroom floor, Alex), chewing with your mouth open, and yelling into your cell phone.

4) Westerners are generally more open with their emotions - we are not ashamed to cry in public, or show that we are upset or angry, or laugh if we think something is funny.

I wonder what myriad of things I do on a daily basis that are as offensive to my Korean co-workers?

[capebretonbarbarian]

Hey,

Alex I think it was,  I did mention the could you ----? to my co teacher.  It is also the way I like to be asked to do something.  I like the other ideas so keep them coming.  It would be nice to get a lot of suggestions and they could be compiled into a list that I could try to give to the main office with a suggestion to distribute it to all the schools with native English teachers. 

If that doesn't work it could be made available here and if anyone wanted to, you know if it "accidentally" came up in conversation, they could provide it to their school.
 
Somebody mentioned that it would be interesting if we could get some responses from Korean co teachers or friends to what we foreigners sometimes do that Koreans find offensive.  I will mention it to a couple of teachers who I think may give honest responses and who have had experience working with several foreigners.  I'll post what I found out. 

They discussed my suggestions at the school meeting and according to a few teachers I talked to about it, they liked the ideas.  The list is in my school library for teachers and students to read.  My relationship has been pretty solid at the school, I like it there and believe they like me.  But some people seem to be extra kind to me after the meeting.  (Might ware of in a week or so)  I think seeing these things on paper made them take a minute to think about how things can be difficult for us living in Korea and they felt some sympathy but that just could be the meds for my broken toe kicking in.   
   

[Samuel]

 How to deal with foreigners:

 1) Make sure all the Korean English teachers introduce themselves at the beginning of the year. Perhaps go out to eat some Western food together, or at least ask Mr.Waygookin what Korean food he wants to eat.

 2) Try to make the foreigner feel welcome by Smiling in the morning, or saying hello either in English or Korean.

 3) Don't let Mr.Waygookin sit in the cafeteria eating alone. Perhaps some English teacher can sit beside him. If all teachers go out to eat, it would be nice if an English teacher sat near him so that he doesn't have to stare at the wall or read his book at the table.

 4) If some Korean teacher lives in the same building, arrange for that Korean teacher to drive Mr.Waygooking to school if the distance is unwalkable/bikeable.

5) At the beginning of the year, ask Mr. Waygookin if he anticipates the need of help in certain areas. Does he want to find an English speaking doctor? Does he need a Korean to find the bus route to school? Does he want help in finding out a way to learn Korean?
Does he need someone to go shopping with him? Does he need help in shopping at a Korean website? Mr.Waygookin's happiness depends a great deal on the effort of his school to help him adjust to life in Korea.

[AlexMokpo]

To Clarify.... Virginia made it sound like *I* spit inside my school.  it is actualy my chill'un who do so...

[Warrior]

My goodness reading all the comments listed I can't help but feel that everyone is way too sensitive. Your in Korea, it is the foreigners who should be adapting to Korean customs, not the other way around. I will agree with one comment posted by Samuel where he mentions that in the beginning it is nice to have a little help adjusting to Korean life. Your co-teachers will be more then willing to help you as long as you don't abuse them by seeking their help constantly for meaningless tasks.  Foreigners need to adapt.

But that's just my two cents.

[Brian]

You're right that foreigners do need to try and adapt to the culture of Korean schools (co-teachers could help with this, of course).  But, Warrior, I think it's a valid topic with lots of good responses, and something school districts and schools really ought to be thinking about when they bring foreigners in.  Too often schools haven't the faintest idea what to do with their brand new, um, import, and it's really remarkable that they'd spend thousands of dollars a month on a person they don't even bother with.  And when it comes to English, though some may disagree, I don't see anything wrong with trying to teach some of the manners that go along with it. 

I've met plenty of foreign teachers here who haven't adjusted well, and I've had my moments, too.  But remember this is a messageboard for sharing challenging and downright bad experiences as much as it is for sharing information and lesson plans.  So long as we don't veer into nastiness I don't see anything wrong with having a little fun at some cultural differences.

[incognito84]

I've been working at the same school for nearly two years and I would rather be referred to by name, not as "the foreigner." I know this isn't something most Koreans are used to and as such is somewhat of a grey area but it needs to be made clear that we're an individual with a name and we prefer not to be referred to as "the outsider." I think there is an underlying assumption that foreigners can't or won't learn Korean, that we're just tourists, but that really isn't true. I studied Korean for more than two years and am at the conversational level. Sometimes I understand entire conversations at work yet I am always congratulated by people I met for the first time when I can say 안녕하세요 or something that most foreigners learn during their first week in Korea.

At work everyone in the entire school knows my name. They should know that I understand a lot of Korean and speak a fair bit as well. Still:

외국인은...
외국사람들은... (there is a Chinese person at my school and they often refer to us together).

It would also be nice if Korean society as a whole was more educated about foreigners as people. There are one million foreigners in Korea (English teachers being a relatively small number within that). I think Korea is globalized enough to begin to realize that they can't just lump all foreigners into the same category and assume we're all the same.

I overheard a conversation one of the new teachers was having with a co-worker that went something like: "he's a foreigner... what does he eat? Can foreigners eat rice? Spicy food? Only hamburgers?" then to me: "do you eat hamburgers everyday?" "I'm a vegetarian." *head explodes*

But yes, maybe a multicultural emphasis needs to be enforced somewhere along the line? I shouldn't have high school students in this day and age asking me why I have hair on my arms or if my blood is green...

[kaymac]

It's interesting to hear everyone's experiences through here. I think it'd be a great idea to have a list like this go around to some English teachers that work with conversation teachers. My co-teacher's english is excellent but she always likes to clarify certain grammar rules. There are some great lesson ideas in this post!

[mtnbk13]

One difficulty I have in teaching that may be "listable"
To my co teacher: if something I say doesn't make sense, for whatever reason, ask a question (as if you were a student), that will help clarify the statement I made.  I.e.  "Please write 5 comparative sentences on your paper."  "Excuse me Chad, but what is a comparative?"  Rather than, or at least before, translating what I had said. 
Also, if a list of things foreigners do that bothers Koreans were to be (politely) given to me when I arrived I would have loved it.  To get a heads up about common forms of social impropriety can go a long way in preventing/explaining some situations.

[Heath]

Only one thing.

Please read the contract before Mr Waygookin's arrival.
This way there will be no embarassing conversations for both parties when the school has decided that Mr waygookin shall pay for all his medical benefits, not recieve pension, told to pay tax when Mr Waygookin knows that he is from one of the countries which is exempt, be aware that when it says 'pay for overtime' that means receiveing money and not a pat on the back from the principal, and finally know when the details of Mr Waygookin's holidays; yes they are different from the Korean teachers.

I only mention this because anytime that my school has done all of the above. I sit down and read my contract with my co-techer and she stares at the paper stunned, I imagine she is thinking 'Maybe I should have read this first'. I never nit-pick and generally negotiate the situation diplomatically. These days she just asks me what my contract says....it saves her time and us both a conversation about what I thought was stipulated when I signed the contract 2 years ago.

[rainesbaines]

To help your coteacher understand the level of patience that dealing with a foreigner may require (as we come in all shapes, sizes, and temperaments), tell him/her to make a list of all of the qualities he/she'd hope for in a perfect waygook colleague and then randomly cross off 80% of the qualities, replacing them with the absolute opposite of his/her ideal qualities

 

Then they'll be pleasantly surprised when they meet new foreigners...or perhaps scared to death of what's coming along for the next contract period. 

At any rate, interactions might be more rooted in reality and the whole "you're-not-like-the-foreigners-i-see-in-the-movies" awkwardness could be avoided.

[JTeale]

I think that most posts have valid points here. I think the most important one aside from all the cultural stuff is Knowledge of the contract Especially come holiday time. In my 2 years teaching in public schools that was always the problem. Most co-teachers glance over it [the contract] and hope that they never have to refer to it again.

The other thing is that if you receive a memo from the Ministry of Education that is about/for/requests the foreign teacher, please let them know asap. if you can't or the foreigner is not there at the time, post-its work really well. Why I say this is that my school and co-teachers are great but certain memos have been missed and it has led to a lot of costly mistakes. At least where I am, a lot of foreign teachers have to call around to find out information ahead of time.

Warrior made a point about adapting which is true but Warrior it goes both ways. I have been here since 2003 and have adapted quite well, thus I rarely call my co-teacher for anything. However, there are a lot of people that are new or have some difficulties with adjusting to life here. The idea of "put up and shut up" only creates a feeling of alienation and that ever present "us vs them" thing.

For the most part schools need to understand that the person they just hired is not Korean and therefor has certain needs. Visiting family and time to adjust to a new way of life is a big part of the hardships in the first few years. My school treats me as an equal and that is great except for the fact that it also means they don't like me taking holidays or whatnot. Rarely do my coworkers take time off and thus that is extended to me as well.