Lifers and Long-termers

[KevinTeacher84]

A couple quick question to people who are staying here for the long-term. Are you teaching public school, university, or hagwon? Have you opened your own business?
Are you generally satisfied with the way things are going? Has it been rough socially? How often do you go back home? I've met some people who love living here, and others who feel "trapped" through marriage, debt, etc....
Do you plan on eventually moving out of here?
I've been here for nearly 3 years, saved up a fair bit of money, have a great relationship with a beautiful girl, and love my job. I've even been thinking of opening a language business, but I have seen so many people come and go in my short time, I don't know if I could maintain those kind of tenuous relationships for a lifetime. I know one guy who owns a hagwon with his wife, and while he's well-off financially, his social interactions are limited to his wife and the kids he teaches.
Not to mention if something were to happen with my family state-side...
Your thoughts and experiences?

[Janitor]

I have been here since 2003 and I thought about what you mentioned a lot. So much so that I went back to Canada for a year and got sort of a taste of reality. the thing was that my home was the same as it always was. After two weeks, I wanted to shoot myself. Then I moved to Vancouver. Yeah there was tons of opportunity and if I stayed I know that I could be doing well, but I felt trapped there. People just worked for the weekend, just to watch TV and stay home.

Here, I am much happier. Yeah, the friendships are hard. I mean for awhile I had a great close-knit group of friends for the first few years and then it felt like the party was over and those who stayed got stuck cleaning up. However, thing here are always changing. There are always people coming and going but you never really get bored.

I have and many other have thought about opening up hogwans. I think that it is the natural progress for long-term expats. We either start working for a University, start a hogwan or both. I think that in many was it is a great life, if you manage it well. I know many guys that have great lives, have families, friends and everything. Yes some come and go but for me, it was the same when I was back home too.

[taeyang]

i am going to be a long timer... i just know it. my partner is in university right now, studying for a degree they'll be able to use when we move to canada together. i'm working while waiting for them to finish.

i've felt nervous about missing my twenties. i'm not exactly missing them, since they'll be wherever i am, but i won't be in canada with my friends living that life.

but i can absolutely relate with you janitor about things not changing. upon my first visit back home last summer, it was very clear to me that nothing had changed... my friends were still the same, which made me feel just as uncomfortable. my mum put it eloquently when she said that i didn't really belong in korea or canada. jeez, thanks mum!

[#basedcowboyshirt]

Has anyone else considered staying and opening a business other than a hagwan? For example - I would love to open up a very small, intimate little bar or pub. A place where I can wear what I want and play my own music. I feel like that's actually a financial possibility, and I've even met a few expats here who own some small watering holes that are nowhere near Hongdae or Itaewon.

It's not that I'm one of those folks that's just here for the experience and hates teaching - I really, really like teaching, and if I go back to North America that's probably what I'll do. But I'd love a less conventional job where I really feel like I'm it and it's me.

But then the idea of dealing with Korean paperwork makes me want to cry. And finding someone I trust enough to help me with the legalities, etc seems daunting.

[whitenoisemaker]

IANAL (in this case L is for 'lifer' as opposed to 'lawyer'), but KevinTeacher when you say 'tenuous relations', you mean with foreigners here, right? I know what you mean, but I suppose we could be *anywhere* and get into the transient short-term migrant worker scene, and be sitting in London thinking 'damn I wish my friends would stick around' if we were only hanging out with the Aussies raising funds to backpack Europe, for example.

I've always presumed the rule is, if you want to settle somewhere, base the larger part of your life with the locals. I'm sure most of you long-term guys do that anyway!

That said I'm all for being in the transient scene, cos I keep my own life pretty transient. I also think that, if we strive for too much permanence and a lack of change in life, we're all bound to be disappointed*.

* Girls, this probably means you shouldn't marry me.

[#basedcowboyshirt]

That said I'm all for being in the transient scene, cos I keep my own life pretty transient. I also think that, if we strive for too much permanence and a lack of change in life, we're all bound to be disappointed*.

* Girls, this probably means you shouldn't marry me.

I definitely chuckled at that last bit.

[sheila]

I've been here for almost three years now.  I've also seen many people come and go. But when I moved back to the states, it was like I would go to work early in the morning, come home late at night, eat dinner with my parents, watch TV, and go to sleep.  Everything was pretty much the same except my friend who were getting married before were poppin' out babies left and right. No thanks!

I have a great boyfriend,  good quality job, car, my dog, and my life all here. I certainly miss my family and friends but I can easily just call them and everything is fine.  I know I'll be here for a while longer for sure to take care of my bills but I'm starting to see the possibility of staying for the long haul.

*Plus, the single time I went to a psychic, he said I'm going to open a flute hagwon here when I'm forty-two and have two sons.  ??? I asked him if he was on hallucinogens.  ;)

[DisplayName001]

I've only been here 7 months and I'm really excited about staying long term. This post was interesting for me to read to sort of get a feel if people really feel comfortable staying long term or not.  I'm from Michigan and going home right now just doesn't seem like an option.  With unemployment so low and baby boomers staying around longer, there's just no work.  I'm sick of working at casinos & right now I'm getting my Masters & I actually feel like I have time for other things besides eating & sleeping.  I think Korea offers a very good lifestyle for those that can stand being away from their family. 

[Ross84]

IANAL (in this case L is for 'lifer' as opposed to 'lawyer'), but KevinTeacher when you say 'tenuous relations', you mean with foreigners here, right? I know what you mean, but I suppose we could be *anywhere* and get into the transient short-term migrant worker scene, and be sitting in London thinking 'damn I wish my friends would stick around' if we were only hanging out with the Aussies raising funds to backpack Europe, for example.

I've always presumed the rule is, if you want to settle somewhere, base the larger part of your life with the locals. I'm sure most of you long-term guys do that anyway!

That said I'm all for being in the transient scene, cos I keep my own life pretty transient. I also think that, if we strive for too much permanence and a lack of change in life, we're all bound to be disappointed*.

* Girls, this probably means you shouldn't marry me.

Now I really want to marry you

But I agree, the only thing constant in life is change, and for me,  also the most exciting, so it largely depends on whether you are willing to cultivate the ability to let go and start again at your beginnings, over and over again.

[jgmenator]

I've been here since 2007, just started my 4th school this past March.
First was an afternoon hagwon, then a private kingergarten, then an after-school program in the public schools, and now a proper public school.

Because I haven't been at a single school for more than one year, it's definitely been hard to establish any long-term friends. I'm still in contact with a teacher from my 1st school, but this year is probably his last (ironically, to go back and open his own language school), and a buddy from college I see from time-to-time, but that's about it.
Every year is starting over, both in terms of Immigration red tape, but also meeting people. So socially I've definitely struggled.

I think my main issue is: I really like living abroad. Germany, Mexico, Korea, wherever, I like living in a foreign country. California (my homestate) is nice and all, but I love being the waygook, as it were. I speak German and Spanish, but my Korean studies are way lacking, which doesn't help the whole social-struggle I'm sure.
So I like being an expat, but I do feel trapped in my career. It feels that in order to live in Korea, we have to be either a) an English teacher, b) a middle-aged businessman with loads of money & Korean partners to start his own business or c) be married to a Korean.

Since c) isn't going to happen (already married), and b) won't for quite some time (only in my 20s), a) is the only feasable option. Yeah, teaching is fine, but it's not really something that calls to me. I'd love to be able to, I don't know, work in retail, be a laboror, be a cook, be an artist, work part-time, etc - just having the option of something other than being pigeonholed as "the native English teacher".

So I'll just keep living here and eating amazing Korean food until I figure something else out  :)

Edit: Still can't spell.