Author Topic: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute! (Read 30430 times)

karenology · « **Reply #20 on:** April 26, 2011, 11:00:01 am »

"Let's go to Sky Land" (their word for "heaven" - it's more entertaining than hearing the usual "let's all die!")

Once I interrupted a clip from a movie, and the whole class screamed. One kid in particular yelled, at the top of his lungs, "TEACHER! I NEED CLIMAX!!!" I about died laughing on the spot. It didn't help that the other kids in the class repeated him! I don't even know how to begin to correct them on that...

I've also had several students say their "dream" is to be a "father" (though none of mine have fessed to an Oedipal complex!) Usually it's from the worst kids, too. Probably because their fathers rule the house with an iron fist...

pohangmimi · « **Reply #21 on:** April 26, 2011, 11:11:04 am »

"Teacher, teacher, oh no. We do hand job." ( when asking they if they planned to use the vaccum to clean the floor instead of using their hands)

" Oh no teacher I can't. Your English makes me too excited!" ( when asking a student to stand up to role play with another student. I died a little bit that day)

notinKS · « **Reply #22 on:** April 26, 2011, 11:20:16 am »

While studying "I'd like to" I showed them a picture of George Bush eating a cat (I'm about 98% sure it's photo-shopped). One of my students pipes up "Ooh! Teacher! Not hot dog, hot cat!" Then two minutes later: "Teacher! It's KFC!" I almost wet my pants

sophia · « **Reply #23 on:** April 26, 2011, 11:33:11 am »

Christmas lesson grade 2.

I am showing them images of Santa Claus going through the chimney.

Student 1: Teacha? He is like NINJAAA.
Me: Yes, yes he is exactly like a ninja,
Student 2: Teacha! He steal money??
Me: No, Santa gives presents.
Student 2 looks at me unconvinced and says: he steal money....

Laura123 · « **Reply #24 on:** April 26, 2011, 11:47:19 am »

I had taught my kids 'pain in the neck' the week before and was reviewing the previous class. I called on one of my students...

me: 'If your friend or someone is annoying you, you can say thay are being a real ________ ??
student: 'bastard'

Stella · « **Reply #25 on:** April 26, 2011, 12:01:49 pm »

Me: "How are you?"
5th grade student: "Teacher, I feel like ddong"
Hilarious!

Cereal · « **Reply #26 on:** April 26, 2011, 12:07:25 pm »

Teaching the months of the year to Grade 3 Elementary students one little darling started off: January which was follwed by a lengthy pause and then Twouary!!!

I laughed! It makes sense from their perspective!!!

gilbert.a.h · « **Reply #27 on:** April 26, 2011, 12:11:18 pm »

Student: Teecha! You Jesus!

Teacher: I am a Genius?

Student: Yeah.. no... You Jesus and Genius!

Whole class: JESUS! JESUS!

SBracken · « **Reply #28 on:** April 26, 2011, 02:07:14 pm »

Sometimes I'm not too sure what my students do during their 10-minute breaks...

I see 4 students (boys) carrying a fifth by each of his limbs, face up. All of them are smiling, so I wasn't... that... worried

Student 1: *sees my approach* TEACHA! HIII, HIIII TEACHA!

Students 2, 3, 4: ah, teacha! HI!

Student being carried: waaaaaa!!! heellp! help teacha!

Me: ah... hi guys... where are you going?

Student being carried: teacha HEEEELLLLPPP!!!!

Student 3: we kill him!! *much enthusiastic nodding*

Me: I'm sorry? (they're used to me saying this for 'can you repeat that?')

Student 3: we KILL him! die! die!

Student 2: ok! bye teacha! bye, bye!

They were all in class 7 minutes later, perfectly unscathed....

edit: another post reminded me about a HS class last week. BG: Students can earn english tokens from me for good work, sometimes out of class as well, for really good English. a girl was comlaining after class quite vocally and vehemently that she hated English, and it soon became
Student 1: Teacha! Englishee hard, no Englishee!

Me: English, *good*- English can be fun. But it's hard work, yes, it's difficult.

Student 1: Noooooo, teacha! Englishee BAD, I HATE you teacha!

random Student 2 from hallway: Ah, Teacha, hi teacha! *sees my reward bag I usually carry* ah! Teacha! Englishee coupon! you have candy?? I speak good Englishee, you give me coupon??

Student 1: oh, teacha I LOVE you! coupon? coupon? Englishee good, I love you teacha....

appletarty · « **Reply #29 on:** April 26, 2011, 02:14:09 pm »

Teacher you a little fat, yes?

appletarty · « **Reply #30 on:** April 26, 2011, 02:15:54 pm »

Me: Get off the ground, what are you doing?

Student: teacha teacha, he dongggginggggg dong dong dongingggg (whilst squeezing his face and pretending to do a poo)

Haha, cheeky brat!

liam.kelly · « **Reply #31 on:** April 26, 2011, 03:14:31 pm »

Teacher...you have Powerade eyes.

elle* · « **Reply #32 on:** April 26, 2011, 03:19:51 pm »

Teacher you have doll hair..

jujibi · « **Reply #33 on:** April 26, 2011, 03:21:44 pm »

For White Day one of my students wrote the following:

Dear Teacher <3
I love you. You are special.
Sure, me too!
So we can became a beautiful couple
Are you thrilled??? Hahahaha
Don't be afraid I am a fake.
It was so funny that it's hanging up in my office~

He then proceeded to say: Teecha you are girl so gibooo me a chocolate!

Awww lil rascals~

riswyk · « **Reply #34 on:** April 26, 2011, 03:23:31 pm »

One of my students came up to me and told me that he had heard that Americans eat sandwiches for lunch everyday. As I'm an American, I told him that this was not true. Yes, sandwiches are common, but we have many other things to eat for lunch. Sometimes the stereotypes amaze me.

mojussa · « **Reply #35 on:** April 26, 2011, 03:36:25 pm »

Quote from: riswyk on April 26, 2011, 03:23:31 pm

One of my students came up to me and told me that he had heard that Americans eat sandwiches for lunch everyday. As I'm an American, I told him that this was not true. Yes, sandwiches are common, but we have many other things to eat for lunch. Sometimes the stereotypes amaze me.

...and if your school is like mine you eat Korea and Kimchi everyday for lunch. haha maybe myth busted in this situation if Koreans eat Kimchi for lunch everyday.

misspigeon · « **Reply #36 on:** April 27, 2011, 09:36:02 am »

My 6th graders recently picked up "What the hell!" from someone so now I hear it with everything. Greeting me - "Hi teacher! What the hell!" Winning a game - "아싸! What the hell!" Asking to go to the bathroom - "Teacher, bathroom. What the hell!"

datrujil · « **Reply #37 on:** April 27, 2011, 10:00:26 am »

At the end of a Typhoon game:

CT: Ok, this team is the losing team and this team is the winnning team.
Student from losing team: YES!!!! We are the Winners!!!!!!! Losers are winners!!!!!!!!!

I couldn't stop laughing~
---------------------------------------------------
My fifth graders observing my third graders talk to me.
5th grade student: Teacher they worship you.

odie · « **Reply #38 on:** April 27, 2011, 10:12:49 am »

Teacher: For a bonus point, who killed Julius Caesar?
Student: Brutus!
Teacher: What were Julius Caesar's last words?
Student: Oh my God!
Student 2: OMG!!

The.it.girl · « **Reply #39 on:** April 27, 2011, 10:20:00 am »

T: Student's what is this part of your body called? (pointing to my wrist)
S: ARM NECK TEECHA!!!

T: Student's what is this part of your body called? (pointing to my Ankle)
S:FOOT NECK TEECHA!!!!

One that blew away recently~

Chan Ho why are you always sleeping in class?
Chan Ho's response: Teecha mother father bed sport play every every nigh!! Father win mother cry (writes the times on the board) 11pm- 3am TEECHA EVERY NIGHT BED SPORTS I NOT SLEEP SO I SLEEP IN CLASS!!!

I don't have to tell you what bed sports are^^

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Author Topic: Stuff My Students Said - please contribute! (Read 30430 times)