Western girls dating Korean guys?

[Damien]

1) Tangent: wtf is with waygook men who date Korean women but know maybe 20 words of Korean?  Everyone who's been here for 3 months should have survival Korean down.

2) Those waygooks and korean gfs have an arrangement not a relationship.

They are probably using each other for something, ego maybe?

This discussion went from a friendly exchange to Waygook War 33 1/3 inside 24 hours.

These two quotes are perfect examples of someone clearly not understanding a situation outside of their own realm of normal thinking. Someone made a comment early about women here harboring anger/hatred towards western men dating Korean women and I figured it was a joke. I then noticed both posts were by women and I found it funny. I am seeing a woman and she can only speak about 40-50 words in a conversation in public. She can write to me all day and when we are alone, she opens up. I am a "20 word" Korean speaker. Does this make it a "sexual arrangement?" Let's look at the facts. We have not kissed and we have not had sex. That blows the "arrangement" idea out of the water.

Could it possibly be I find something amazing about her? It might be the fact she is caring, sweet, funny, and smart. She texts me 'good morning' and 'good night' every day. She talks to me when I am having a bad day. If I am feeling down, she cheers me up. My students could have dragged me to hell and one smile from her makes everything alright. I am attempting to learn Korean to better speak with her and she is trying to learn English on her own terms. I find it a little hard to fit another language in my head right now. It can be hard to fit in more vocabulary in a head already full with English, German, French, and Russian. But it might be easier for someone only learning a second language.

[cinamon]

Korean men are "feminine"?

They have small penises?

They're too afraid to approach western women?

The ignorant comments in this thread says alot more about the posters than "Korean men".  No, westerners are not hotter, more cultured, more intelligent or more desirable than any other people. [MOD EDIT: Personal attack removed]

[flips]

Korean men are "feminine"?

They have small penises?

They're too afraid to approach western women?

The ignorant comments in this thread says alot more about the posters than "Korean men".  No, westerners are not hotter, more cultured, more intelligent or more desirable than any other people.  [MOD EDIT: Personal attack removed]

an ignoramus is gonna ignoramus.

[prunae]

Quite frankly speaking, I think Korean guys are just scared out of their minds.
Their view on western women is that we/they have very strong personalities...
Korean men don't want to feel intimidated! They want to be the protector, DA MAN...
they don't want to feel demasculinized -- but what kind of man does...right?
I'm sure Korean men are attracted to Western women...they just don't have the balls to man up.
I'm sure they're also insecure (like most Korean people) about their English -- even if they're good, they admit they're afraid to speak to foreigners.

[PsychoGemini]

This discussion went from a friendly exchange to Waygook War 33 1/3 inside 24 hours.

These two quotes are perfect examples of someone clearly not understanding a situation outside of their own realm of normal thinking. Someone made a comment early about women here harboring anger/hatred towards western men dating Korean women and I figured it was a joke. I then noticed both posts were by women and I found it funny. I am seeing a woman and she can only speak about 40-50 words in a conversation in public. She can write to me all day and when we are alone, she opens up. I am a "20 word" Korean speaker. Does this make it a "sexual arrangement?" Let's look at the facts. We have not kissed and we have not had sex. That blows the "arrangement" idea out of the water.

Could it possibly be I find something amazing about her? It might be the fact she is caring, sweet, funny, and smart. She texts me 'good morning' and 'good night' every day. She talks to me when I am having a bad day. If I am feeling down, she cheers me up. My students could have dragged me to hell and one smile from her makes everything alright. I am attempting to learn Korean to better speak with her and she is trying to learn English on her own terms. I find it a little hard to fit another language in my head right now. It can be hard to fit in more vocabulary in a head already full with English, German, French, and Russian. But it might be easier for someone only learning a second language.

AMEN with a capital A Damien!  I've also gotta agree with jchoi911's assessment too.  I also have rarely seen any really attractive western girls in my year here thus far.  It's been mentioned before but most of the girls that come here already have boyfriends as well, thus contributing to the lack of KM/WF couplings.

[woman-king]

1) Tangent: wtf is with waygook men who date Korean women but know maybe 20 words of Korean?  Everyone who's been here for 3 months should have survival Korean down.

2) Those waygooks and korean gfs have an arrangement not a relationship.

They are probably using each other for something, ego maybe?

This discussion went from a friendly exchange to Waygook War 33 1/3 inside 24 hours.

These two quotes are perfect examples of someone clearly not understanding a situation outside of their own realm of normal thinking. Someone made a comment early about women here harboring anger/hatred towards western men dating Korean women and I figured it was a joke. I then noticed both posts were by women and I found it funny. I am seeing a woman and she can only speak about 40-50 words in a conversation in public. She can write to me all day and when we are alone, she opens up. I am a "20 word" Korean speaker. Does this make it a "sexual arrangement?" Let's look at the facts. We have not kissed and we have not had sex. That blows the "arrangement" idea out of the water.

Could it possibly be I find something amazing about her? It might be the fact she is caring, sweet, funny, and smart. She texts me 'good morning' and 'good night' every day. She talks to me when I am having a bad day. If I am feeling down, she cheers me up. My students could have dragged me to hell and one smile from her makes everything alright. I am attempting to learn Korean to better speak with her and she is trying to learn English on her own terms. I find it a little hard to fit another language in my head right now. It can be hard to fit in more vocabulary in a head already full with English, German, French, and Russian. But it might be easier for someone only learning a second language.

^ This post nails it  ;) the Korean girls I've met are more caring, sweet, and funny.
The western girls seems resentful towards Western Men dating Korean Women.
Being bitter about it doesn't help your chances of landing a guy either.  :-\

Not everyone can stand a b*tch, and majority of the Western girls here usually come off as one - senseless yakking, complaining, getting hammered, and sh*t bashing everything. Maybe the demographics of the girls that comes to teach in Korea? I'm sure there ARE exceptions to this lol cause I've met some  :o

That's why Men (Korean and Western) would prefer the better alternative (the sweet, friendlier, and more attractive Korean girls)

PS  rarely have I seen a hot Western chick here lol maybe that's another reason why,
Egotistic Personality + average Looks = double dealbreaker
^ that's just my opinion, not meant to be offensive 

Maybe they're not resentful of the actual relationships, but of your attitude towards them? 
I feel like comments like yours are generally treated as more acceptable than women who dare to question the motives behind a Western guy/Korean girl relationship--which could be just as full of judgment and stereotypes, but could also include some sincere questions/observations.  I'm not sure why that is always inherently worse than saying that most Western women are fat, slobby loud b*tches and even if you were kind enough to point out you've seen exceptions, most people with your mindset are pretty convinced there are none. 

[pk_00]

it seems that the common thread in this is that there is less foreigner women/korean men coupling because of korean men unwilling to date foreign women.

however, i've noticed more often is that it's the foreign women unwilling to date korean men (not that there aren't foreign women who date korean men).

i find this the case in general. More than women, men seems to have less hangups about dating someone from a different race/religion/culture, as long as they're attractive. i find women to be much more selective about race/ethnicity/culture, even if they consider the person attractive.

[Korea87]

My point was that I had a lot of friends living at home who would say "I can't understand why you like Asian guys!" and I would be like "Let me introduce you to Taeyang" and they would instantly become converted.

Also- good point that there are probably more foreign man/Korean woman couples because there are more foreign men living in Korea. However, I don't agree that Korean women are more eager to practice their English. The most important reason for a Korean person to learn English is for international business, and I'm willing to guess that 95% of businesspeople in Korea are men.

Taeyang is the exception. i have not seen too many of him walking around. he is def. not the typical korean.

[Damien]

I feel like comments like yours are generally treated as more acceptable than women who dare to question the motives behind a Western guy/Korean girl relationship--which could be just as full of judgment and stereotypes, but could also include some sincere questions/observations.

You have a valid point here and I see where you are coming from, but there seems to be a general difference between the two types of postings. I look over most post and see more posting about women "b*tching" and giving a "vinegar" opinion, than you see a guy posting about "looks." If the posting trimmed down the "b*tching" and was more focused on the message, it would have a greater and longer lasting impact.

In my posting, I never mentioned her looks once. I was talking about her as a person. If I was going off the handle on how beautiful, slim, hot etc. she is, it would receive a different response. She could be fat and ugly for all you know. I really don't look at her for her looks. I see her for who she is. I Think this is the major difference between the two. A lot, not all, of western-women assume we are after Korean women for looks and it can be in some cases. From experience, I don't see that very often. Those are usually 1 night stands and random hook ups. There tends to be less "arrangements." I find her to be beautiful, but that has nothing to do with my decision in liking her.

[FMNY]

My two cents...It doesn't matter where you are you are going to find all types of men or women. Really ugly- really beautiful, fat-slim-feminin-masuline whatever. I have met some of the very "manly" Asian men (and women for that matter)
Two people meet they like each other they date or whatever. In some cases they get married have babies. It's the same story, sure there is all that cultural this and societal that but that has stopped few people. Those may be the reasons that a guy just won't approach you but if your meeting people and gettin to know each other things will happen that culture and society are just going to have to deal with.Men are men if they like something and want it they are going to go about gettin it. If I was a guy I would be all over some Korean girls there are some sexy ladies among them. So I can't be mad at a western guy getting with one. (more Korean men for me.  :D)

I have been told by some Korean men that western women seem at times unapproachable. Or they think that western women are just not interested in Korean men. But they all wouldn't mine dating one if they could break that wall. I tend to agree western girls do have a thing about them here that sorta says just stay away. Unlike other places I have been where the western girls are lets say "open for business"

[woman-king]

I feel like comments like yours are generally treated as more acceptable than women who dare to question the motives behind a Western guy/Korean girl relationship--which could be just as full of judgment and stereotypes, but could also include some sincere questions/observations.

You have a valid point here and I see where you are coming from, but there seems to be a general difference between the two types of postings. I look over most post and see more posting about women "b*tching" and giving a "vinegar" opinion, than you see a guy posting about "looks." If the posting trimmed down the "b*tching" and was more focused the message, it would have a greater and longer lasting impact.

In my posting, I never mentioned her looks once. I was talking about her as a person. If I was going off the handle on how beautiful, slim, hot etc. she is, it would receive a different response. She could be fat and ugly for all you know. I really don't look at her for her looks. I see her for who she is. I Think this is the major difference between the two.

I was responding to the person who posted after you.  Your post is different in tone.  And I don't have a problem with anyone going "off the handle" on how hot their significant other is--it is normal to date people you find attractive.  It's fine to say why you may prefer Korean girls without name-calling and just general bad stereotypes. 

[JamericanTeacher]

 ::) ::)...Goodness gracious, we KNOW that these statements don't apply to ALL people.  OK, let's say "SOME of the ppl that I've ENCOUNTERED..."..How about that?  Happy now?

This is one of the stupidest things I have ever read on this website.

So many stereotypical, ignorant, or cruel assumptions.

FYI I am in a happy relationship with a Korean guy, and so are many of my white/foreign friends. Guess what? Not all Korean men are domineering misogynistic jerks. Not all Korean men have small penises. Not all Korean men expect you to cook for them and clean their apartment. Not all Korean men are afraid to approach Western women. Not all Korean men say "I love you" on the first date. Are you aware how ignorant it is to make assumptions like this? Why don't I just assume all American guys are blonde, play football, and love drinking and having one night stands with women? That's exactly what almost everyone responding to this thread is writing. You cannot generalize an entire country of millions of people.

99% of the things people have written on this site are ignorant or just plain stupid. It is obvious that most of you have never even been on a date with a Korean man, or even talked to one.

[Davey]

Stick to the topic, or else it will be locked.

[JamericanTeacher]

I understand what you're saying and think it's great that you've connected with this woman. I dated an Egyptian when I first arrived whose english was pretty good and we had some good conversations.  A lot got lost in translation, however, because while his english was good, he wasn't a native speaker and therefore missed certain cues and misunderstood certain things.  We clicked and he was a cool person, but it got to the point where the accent and miscommunications, and cultural differences became a pain.

I imagine it would be the similar with dating SOME of the relatively FEW Koreans one MAY encounter in his/her life.  I like a man who takes charge. If thats what SOME of the relatively FEW Korean men I MAY encounter throughout the course of my life (...whew....screw this, I'm going back to generalizing....LOL....) do then great.  I also like the fact that they (from what I've heard) like arab men pay for everything and take care of everything... ....imagine that.... ...Hey man,   I'm cool with playing the demure woman as long as he takes care of his business, and, of course, includes me in the decision making process.

I've seen some gorgeous Korean men, but the language barrier is just such a pain.  It's all about swag and intellect for me (both of which are incredibly subjective...)...so *shrug*

I feel like comments like yours are generally treated as more acceptable than women who dare to question the motives behind a Western guy/Korean girl relationship--which could be just as full of judgment and stereotypes, but could also include some sincere questions/observations.

You have a valid point here and I see where you are coming from, but there seems to be a general difference between the two types of postings. I look over most post and see more posting about women "b*tching" and giving a "vinegar" opinion, than you see a guy posting about "looks." If the posting trimmed down the "b*tching" and was more focused on the message, it would have a greater and longer lasting impact.

In my posting, I never mentioned her looks once. I was talking about her as a person. If I was going off the handle on how beautiful, slim, hot etc. she is, it would receive a different response. She could be fat and ugly for all you know. I really don't look at her for her looks. I see her for who she is. I Think this is the major difference between the two. A lot, not all, of western-women assume we are after Korean women for looks and it can be in some cases. From experience, I don't see that very often. Those are usually 1 night stands and random hook ups. There tends to be less "arrangements." I find her to be beautiful, but that has nothing to do with my decision in liking her.

[bonnieflares]

I know that height (as well as something else) is an often quoted (albeit jokingly) reason for not wanting to meet Korean guys among my female friends.

Personally, I think its a total cop-out, but I'm not a girl.

I have to say, I was quite surprised at how much taller Korean guys are when compared to my expectations before coming here. Prior to my arrival, many conversations back home were about exactly this and the consensus was that the men are small in every way. In general, even though generalizing is not wise with such things. Rather stupid bunch of people we were, if I may say so myself, with no proof to back up rumours. Understandably though, they're rumours after all. I will generalize again and say that I think Koreans are exceptions to the norm when it comes to Asian height (I cannot say anything about size unfortunately, as I haven't ventured in that direction). My male Korean friends (I have quite a lot), are all fairly tall. I am 5foot5 and never feel like they're too short. They all seem to be around 5 foot 10/11, which is acceptable and not that much shorter than those of my 6foot tall friends back home. I think with a lot of Western girls that I have spoken to, they had the same mindset. Korean guys don't really fit that 'Asians are short' stereotype. However, like with everywhere else, there are the short people and the tall people.
Instead, some of my female friends (Western and Korean alike) think Korean guys are too soft. Features and manners. I personally have no issues with that, being a strong and independent woman and showing that mental prowess only when needed. But friends think the guys are too delicate looking and too slender.The 'Korean guys are needy', always text me' and 'always let me have my way' excuses has come up as well. Seems some women like to be bossed around (but then complain about it  ;))

Personally, I think Korean guys are generally quite attractive. I would love to experience dating one, but those around my age of interest are dashing off to the army before it is too late or looking to get married. I had a conversation with my male Korean friends about marriage and they mentioned that background is extremely important and that ultimately, their parents have the final say. So, whilst many other points mentioned are valid, I think another reason for there not being so many WW/KM couplings, is because many of us Westerners don't meet the necessary criteria. Many matches seem like business deals. The right family background, right educational background, right job, right amount of cash in the bank to buy the in-laws nice hanboks etc. Most of us don't have at least one of these and on top of that, we look different, speak a different language (let's make an effort and learn Korean), and we come from a completely different culture. The 'I know what you know and feel like you do because we are the same' feeling is not there for in-laws and probably for that cute Korean guy you've been eyeing. To make things simpler and more comfortable, he would rather date a Korean girl. It is easier. I know if I were back home, I would probably not consider dating an Asian guy, just because of the hassle of learning to fit into his family's culture (if needed). Having come here and seen that I can fit into this culture, I am more open minded now and likely to give it a go. Most Korean guys don't have that, so be prepared to look hard for those who have travelled, are more open minded with cool parents and want more that the typical Korean marriage.

I also have seen the multitudes of Western men strutting down the street with their beautiful Korean counterparts. But why wouldn't they? Korean women....always...always dress up, even at home, they get up and dress up.  Dressing very business woman is a huge theme and a part of their culture here. Of course, the younger Koreans women have the over sized Mickey Mouse sweaters but I'll assume we are talking about a more mature group of people.  I often feel sloppy and my hair is never in the right place and my dress clothes are, well, very masculine looking dress clothes if you compare to the Korean style.  Back home, I wasn't perceived as sloppy, just efficient work and play clothes.  Here, however, they have amazing genetics and will power to stay very skinny, wear those tight dress clothes, and put on that shimmer make up. It reminds me of the old English days where it was the woman's duty to look decent in society. Back to the main point...why wouldn't men want groomed women who also are trained in some area such as drawing/painting/sewing/music? It reminds me of the old English days where it was the woman's duty to look decent in society. Back to the main point...why wouldn't men want groomed women who also are trained in some area such as drawing/painting/sewing/music?

Not to sound petty, but although I cannot speak for everyone, some of us Western girls take very good care of ourselves and on top of that try to learn the language and culture etc... You don't have to be a Korean girl in Korea to be one of the women who dress nicely, know how to cook, sew/knit and play the piano among other things. Just because we are Western, does not mean we are not talented and/or capable in necessary areas like the 'accomplished' Korean women.

Word.  This stereotype is perpetrated enough by some (not all) Waygook men enough as it is.  If you feel uncomfortable dressing up/wearing makeup, or feel it's demeaning/unnecessary, then by all means don't do so...but it is simply untrue to say Korean women are just "genetically" more beautiful/accomplished.  It's all about what you choose to put effort into.  I do agree a more 'traditional' type of femininity is in vogue here.  I kind of appreciate being able to dress extremely girly at work without being looked down on as silly/fluff-headed for it, which I feel happens sometimes in the West.

You have very valid points, but my comment was based as almost all these comments are based, as swooping generalizations.  With a topic like this, it is pretty hard to stay clear of them. And the topic is considering the dating of Westerners to Koreans, not trying to bash on your Western feminine routines.  And generally, most Koreans do have a good set of "skinny" genetics. As in their metabolism is fast, just like how there is a proven gene which regulates alcohol consumption in those of non-asian decent better.  And, again generally, the culture asks for a higher percentage of "accomplished" women than the states do as it is a huge part of their culture considering most women stay at home after marriage still and are trained by their mother-in-law. Generally....I see a lot more beautiful accomplished Korean women then Westerners ( I should specify US citizens here I suppose), and so I can see why there are more Western men dating Korean women than vice versus. But, there are always exceptions, and you ladies may be just that. No reason to take it so personally tho.

[Korea87]

I don't mind seeing western men with Korean women. Honestly, I  don't think it is problem even if they have a language barrier. But I do have problem with western men comparing Korean women's looks/personalities to western women. First of all, I have seen plenty of average-looking Korean women. I think most are average like western women. But the difference is that Korean women make the most of it by wearing lots of makeup, using skin lightening treatments/creams, plastic surgery and spending lots of money on clothes. There is nothing wrong with that but I am not into that, right now in my life. My goal is to look clean and neat. I am not trying to spend any more money that I need to on clothes or makeup. When I am older or more settled I may do so. I rather save my money for school, bills, and travelling. Generally, Koreans spend a lot time, energy, and money to look the way they do. What you see is not all natural. And that is ok and I understand why they do it. I am not going to hate because I know that later in life I will invest more in that department. But what pisses me off so much as a woman is how this is really a man's world. I can't believe how so many men think they have the right to comment on women's looks Korean , Western or otherwise. I find it is so depressing and disgusting. Living in such a patriarchal society, I have learned how much women are still valued for their looks but the same does not apply to the men. I have seen plenty of scruffy looking guys with well-dressed, good-looking korean women. And some of these same men have the nerve to judge western women on their looks. It is like these men have tapped into some power that they could not get back in home.  I would like to add something else. Two years ago, I lived in an American metro city for a summer internship. Let me tell you, most of those women, especially the ones in the twenties dressed a lot like Korean women here. Meaning they had their makeup on maybe not as much, stilettos, and professional but stylish outfits. I was surprised to see so many. So there are plenty of women like that in the US, but you have to work to get them. And I don't blame them. For either Korean women or Western women, it takes a lot work, money, and time to look good and have your sh*t together. I just think western women know that and are not willing to accept less because of it. And I don't see anything wrong with that. If I were to invest that much time, money, and energy for a guy , I expect a great return. And I am not a feminist just a very practical woman.

[siamagoo]

I'll come out and say it: I'm a western girl too ugly/awkward to get a date in my home country. Maybe this is why W-men date K-gals, or maybe it isn't, but it's definitely my reason for expanding the dating pool to include the Chosun people. That and I've got a touch of the yellow fever. I have reason to believe it may be genetic.

Alas, I don't know how the dating game is played around here. So, to all the lady K-teachers out there, what secret signals do you give off to let boys know it's okay to make the first move?

[bonnieflares]

::) ::)...Goodness gracious, we KNOW that these statements don't apply to ALL people.  OK, let's say "SOME of the ppl that I've ENCOUNTERED..."..How about that?  Happy now?

This is one of the stupidest things I have ever read on this website.

So many stereotypical, ignorant, or cruel assumptions.

FYI I am in a happy relationship with a Korean guy, and so are many of my white/foreign friends. Guess what? Not all Korean men are domineering misogynistic jerks. Not all Korean men have small penises. Not all Korean men expect you to cook for them and clean their apartment. Not all Korean men are afraid to approach Western women. Not all Korean men say "I love you" on the first date. Are you aware how ignorant it is to make assumptions like this? Why don't I just assume all American guys are blonde, play football, and love drinking and having one night stands with women? That's exactly what almost everyone responding to this thread is writing. You cannot generalize an entire country of millions of people.

99% of the things people have written on this site are ignorant or just plain stupid. It is obvious that most of you have never even been on a date with a Korean man, or even talked to one.

Amen to that Jamerican teacher!! :D This thread is begging for over generalized comments, and there are always exceptions. Not everyone has the exact same experiences either. It also depends on where you were raised, what kind of person you are, whether you are close to Seoul or not, etc....Tons of things can change a person's experience with a Korean man, these comments are just telling everyone's thought and experiences on the matter. To be fair, we could thread some...why westerners can't stay married, or why westerners are so ignorant...and tag this thread into it. You really shouldn't get so worked up on a thread. It's a discussion/debate, and you never win those by freaking out.

[CMceachern]

Korea 87...I enjoyed your post.  So true!  I do feel like Western men here compare us to Korean women.  When we are completely beautiful in our own right.  I, too, lived a metro US city and the women spent a lot of time on themselves and their bodies!  Anyway, you were right on target!

[flasyb]

...But what pisses me off so much as a woman is how this is really a man's world. I can't believe how so many men think they have the right to comment on women's looks Korean , Western or otherwise. I find it is so depressing and disgusting. Living in such a patriarchal society, I have learned how much women are still valued for their looks but the same does not apply to the men. I have seen plenty of scruffy looking guys with well-dressed, good-looking korean women. And some of these same men have the nerve to judge western women on their looks...

It's a blessing for us men that we don't have to groom or take care of our appearances so much. However, there are some men who are determined to spoil it for us. Men who use face creams, concealers, get facials, use special shampoos, conditioners, take care of their bodies, do sit-ups and who wear particularly nice clothes. These men seem to be actively trying to ruin it for the rest of us. Seriously, what is their problem? Pretty soon, maybe in the next decade or so, men will be expected to dress well and attend to their appearance as much as women do. And then where will we be? We'll be no better off than the women. How about a little empathy from these self grooming douchebags? For the love of God men, we should be clinging to our scruffy and slightly stinky ways. We can still turn back the tide. Let's not be treated like women here. Nobody deserves that.