good
Your in depth analysis is truly astounding!
Anyway, some zero prep, zero tech games for learning the alphabet:
#1 Super Easy Level: Circle game: sit the kids down in a big circle. In the centre of the circle, place a big ABC chart for them to look at. Pass a ball around so that each student says a letter in order. Kids who take too long, or say the wrong letter have to do some kind of previously agreed upon punishment (jumping jacks/dance/sing/etc)!
#2 Easy Level: Same as above but with words. "A says ah-ah-apple, B says buh-buh-bear" etc.
#3 Mid Level: Rhythm clapping game: Everybody in the circle claps out a four-beat rhythm: hit the floor twice, clap their hands twice. This is repeated over and over. Kids then need to say letters in alphabetical order, one letter per student, one after the other around the circle (as in #1), on the second clap. Kids who don't say the letter are out! Can do the same for words as in #2.
#4 Mid Level: Clap Substitution Alphabet: Kids form a circle and each student takes a turn saying one letter of the alphabet. However, rules are introduced that create exceptions. For those exceptions, a student will clap rather than say the letter. For example, if the letter has a circle in it (a,b,d,e,g,o,p,q) they need to clap, or if the letter is tall (b,d,f,h,k,l,t) or if it goes down (g,j,p,q,y), or if it's a vowel (a,e,i,o,u,y) etc. If a kid messes up, they're out and need to perform an amusing punishment!
#5 Mid Level: Snowball: Again, sit the kids down in a circle and give them a ball or a plushie or whatever. Student number on says a random word. Next student takes the last letter of the word and forms a new word beginning with that letter, and the next student does the same etc etc.
#6 Advanced Level: Reverse Snowball: Same as #5, except the second student takes the
first letter of the word, and comes up with a new word that
ends with that letter. Note: some letters, like 'j' are game ending (no common words end in "j"). Whichever student ends the game has to do a random punishment!