Western Manners

Yeah, the hand holding thing...it's not that it's bad manners (people don't think you're rude if they see you doing it), it's just typically not done. 

Thanks for sharing, but I was never taught that it was bad manners to hold hands with someone of the same sex...

I don't think its rude at all. I've seen friends and couple do this in various parts of the UK and nobody bats a eyelid over it. Unless, you are living in a different decade that I am.

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I don't think its rude at all. I've seen friends and couple do this in various parts of the UK and nobody bats a eyelid over it. Unless, you are living in a different decade that I am.

Why are you trying to make it into some kind of homophobic thing? It has nothing to do with that. Personally, I have no issues at all with 2 men or 2 women holding hands but I am going to assume that they are either in a relationship with each other or they are hoping to be soon. That's what I would want to communicate to Koreans. The thing here that they do, where people who are, in theory at least, only friends yet cling to each other like lovers, is not in any way seen or done in the vast majority of the world. It's not so much rude as extremely abnormal. An abnormal thing? In Korea? Shocking.

Cultural education. Holding hands and walking arm-in-arm is a romantic gesture in the great big world OUTSIDE the Korea-bubble. Always nice when they get a little glimpse of that, I think.

Well if you say so since you have visited the "vast majority of the world". Now you put on your list that its not appropriate manners to hold hands with the same sex in the west.  That is simply inaccurate but if you want to make things ever simplistic for your kids. Go ahead. Claiming something is bad manner might imply that they would get disapproving looks for that action, well holding hands with your friend wouldn't get the you same disdain as spitting on the ground or sneezing over everyone else.

I have lived in the big world outside of Korea and frankly I've seen same sex friends holding hand in other countries, Asian and Western. It's not as common in Western countries as Korea or China but it hardly warrants inclusion on a list advising of appropriate manners.

This is does seem to be based on your perceptions of how people should act or their particular relationships towards each other.

Quote from: Nivea on April 05, 2013, 06:07:11 PM

Well if you say so since you have visited the "vast majority of the world". Now you put on your list that its not appropriate manners to hold hands with the same sex in the west.  That is simply inaccurate but if you want to make things ever simplistic for your kids. Go ahead. Claiming something is bad manner might imply that they would get disapproving looks for that action, well holding hands with your friend wouldn't get the you same disdain as spitting on the ground or sneezing over everyone else.

I have lived in the big world outside of Korea and frankly I've seen same sex friends holding hand in other countries, Asian and Western. It's not as common in Western countries as Korea or China but it hardly warrants inclusion on a list advising of appropriate manners.

This is does seem to be based on your perceptions of how people should act or their particular relationships towards each other.

Just curious...where have you lived  in the West where romantic involvement wasn't implied by hand holding?

Well personally...I walk around holding hands with friends and family back home rather frequently. 

My father is legally blind and I hold his hand or arm when we walk around anywhere, especially if he's too proud to use his cane <- not romantic

I have held friends hands (male and female) just about anywhere <- friends, not romantic

Yes, people in romantic relationships hold hands, but plently of platonic relationships do it as well.

Quote from: Nivea on April 05, 2013, 06:07:11 PM

Well if you say so since you have visited the "vast majority of the world". Now you put on your list that its not appropriate manners to hold hands with the same sex in the west.  That is simply inaccurate but if you want to make things ever simplistic for your kids. Go ahead. Claiming something is bad manner might imply that they would get disapproving looks for that action, well holding hands with your friend wouldn't get the you same disdain as spitting on the ground or sneezing over everyone else.

I have lived in the big world outside of Korea and frankly I've seen same sex friends holding hand in other countries, Asian and Western. It's not as common in Western countries as Korea or China but it hardly warrants inclusion on a list advising of appropriate manners.

This is does seem to be based on your perceptions of how people should act or their particular relationships towards each other.

Just curious...where have you lived  in the West where romantic involvement wasn't implied by hand holding?

I'm seen it sometimes in the UK, no big deal. I saw male soldiers on leave walking about holding hands in Egypt.

Well, I'm glad someone has revived this topic!
 
I remember a year ago or two, I started a thread on manners for a lesson plan I was going to make. The whole thing turned into a string of indignant attacks by people who did the things I'd listed as rude.

Someone even told me I sounded like I was from the last century! Glad you're fairing a bit better though^^

I'd add "Don't ask very personal questions, or talk about personal finances" and "Eat quietly-->no smacking, slurping, or talking with a full mouth."

I'm seen it sometimes in the UK, no big deal. I saw male soldiers on leave walking about holding hands in Egypt.

Well personally...I walk around holding hands with friends and family back home rather frequently. 

My father is legally blind and I hold his hand or arm when we walk around anywhere, especially if he's too proud to use his cane <- not romantic

I have held friends hands (male and female) just about anywhere <- friends, not romantic

Yes, people in romantic relationships hold hands, but plently of platonic relationships do it as well.

Maybe I've forgotten too many little things about home or maybe it's where I'm from (Texas) but I don't recall seeing much platonic handholding. I'm trying really hard to remember but I just don't have memories of anyone college age or older holding hands with no romantic interest.

Notice I didn't mention the blind or elderly, both of whom make this not really applicable to the discussion.

Regardless, I do agree that none of this means it is bad manners to hold hands in this manner.

Quote from: Nivea on April 24, 2013, 10:02:50 AM

I'm seen it sometimes in the UK, no big deal. I saw male soldiers on leave walking about holding hands in Egypt.

Quote from: Chicagohotdog on April 24, 2013, 09:56:51 AM

Well personally...I walk around holding hands with friends and family back home rather frequently. 

My father is legally blind and I hold his hand or arm when we walk around anywhere, especially if he's too proud to use his cane <- not romantic

I have held friends hands (male and female) just about anywhere <- friends, not romantic

Yes, people in romantic relationships hold hands, but plently of platonic relationships do it as well.

Maybe I've forgotten too many little things about home or maybe it's where I'm from (Texas) but I don't recall seeing much platonic handholding. I'm trying really hard to remember but I just don't have memories of anyone college age or older holding hands with no romantic interest.

Notice I didn't mention the blind or elderly, both of whom make this not really applicable to the discussion.

Regardless, I do agree that none of this means it is bad manners to hold hands in this manner.

Yea, I think it's a mighty stretch to say that "plenty" of platonic peoples (male and female) are going around holding hands in the states.  I can't say I've ever seen two dudes that weren't gay holding hands back home, and Im from California. 
Holding hands with a female friend can happen..but..I wouldnt call it the norm...and it usually kinda meant something, or it was under the influence of something at some sort of festival or rave.  Even girl/girl handholding...it's something that you can see...and it wouldnt be weird to see it...but, i dont think it happens enough where I would tell a foreigner "we do ........ where I'm from"
But yeah, either way, definitely not bad manners. 

I have a Korean friend who grew up in Canada and he actually had ISSUES with this hand-holding thing. Let me just share his story.

In Korea holding hands with another guy is actually pretty common (my friend is a male; no need to mention females). In the Canadian culture, I guess, I'm USA, if two boys are holding hands in the Elementary / Middle School age they get teased and called gay.

My friend and his friend (both Korean) ended up never holding another guy's hand again. Canadian culture beat it out of them.

So I would say Yes, in Western culture (Canada, USA at least), male on male hand holding is weird. I don't know if it is a matter of manners, but you will get teased or outcasted by the less than mature people out there. There are a lot of people like that in USA...

My personal thought, if a guy is brave enough to hold another guy's hand in public, more power to them. Braver than me anyway.